Alluring

The demation

They left me. Ugh, I dislike myself so much at times. I wish that I'd start thinking more with my head and less with my heart. How could I ever be good enough for people who were
never good enough for me?

They didn't care enough about me to even be good enough for me. People who are supposed to tell me it's okay to be different. It's okay to not act and think like the person in front or behind you.

The people supposed to tell me everything is going to be okay, but when even those people—your family doesn't want you for your differences what does that really say? I hate that it gives me the feeling of wanting so bad what I can never have. What I can never have because I'll never be accepted. Because I'm a demation. A form of Milax extremely rare.

I'm human, although I look extremely different compared to others. It comes with a lot of other things as well. Which includes the shiny glow to my skin that actually sparkles . My skin   is complemented by smooth long light hair, and that contrasts my light brown eyes disturbed of a swirl of yellow that changes color everyday right around early night time. Yes it changes color it's one of the side affects of my Milax condition. I'm looked at as if a creep for it, but honestly after a while the routine becomes normal. For all of us.

"Whatever your name is again for the first time, and this is really weird, but you have a visitor", a familiar dry sharp voice interrupts. Without even looking up I can tell it's the overseer for today Karen, but I strive to ignore the piercing disgusting faces she makes at me as if the thought of someone coming to visit me is too aweful to be real or in my language too good to be true.

Because ofcourse most of us here shared losing our family and being left somehow, however what everyone else shares here except for me is not being alone, but accepted in somehow .. someway. Even with the strict what seems like hiding schedules set up by the government they have managed to get so close to people even out of their schools who come to this hosipital .. as the overseers call it.

They visit and hang with others of my kind here laughing, talking, and even singing with them. It's the worst feeling ever to crave something you could never have. Just continuously living striped of any connection to happiness whatsoever. The feeling of feeling alone and being truly alone.

"HUUUU"!

A screeching sound that seems recognizable captures my ears practically prying me into a faze of insanity. "What the hell"? I ask myself because this has never happened before! It takes me a while to notify myself it's defiantly the intruder warning  bell. We had all heard test runs on the emergency bells, however today was not a test run. They were planned out . Just like our day schedules. Just like our lives, because the government knows what is best for us I guess.

Was this another one of Ms. Karen's freakish ways to insult me the one day I had my first damn visitor? Or was there actually someone trying to hurt us? Who am I kidding she'd probably pulled another one of her jokes on me just to remind me. The usual. I'm truly alone.

"It's okay. This is for the best. I'm meant to be alone. This is my life and I just need to learn to accept it."  I blurted out my heart aware of the words that came out my mouth but my head clueless to the words. The tears that stung my cheeks next spoke further for my feelings.

After years since my birth I couldn't believe it took this hopeless feeling to take me out. To deprive me of years of stability even through each day that felt like shit. But now I felt like shit.

"But isn't loneliness truly a sign? A sign that we need ourselves? Even more than ever? You can only  tell yourself you are truly alone if you accept it first. Opening up to the feeling makes the feeling take control. You tell me are you really alone? Truly alone?" A soft light voice declares from what seems behind me.

The light tone speaks to me as if it knows me better than I know myself, and whoever it is.. whatever it is cause it can't possibly be a human, because such a combination of soft and light digs so far into me until it reaches  my soul, then next my heart. It had to be an angel. Creature. Something.

The angel stepped foward only to be revealed in ripped black jeans, a Nike hoodie invaded of what read darkness is my light in shimmery gold analogous to such shimmery gold on spotless white shoes that appeared to be Jordan's on Mr.blackngold.

All things I knew teens were obsessed with nowadays. All things I only heard
of, but never touched. But never saw close up. Until today. Angel in devils clothing or devil with an angels voice?

Author: Click the top for Axel's fit if you missed it, and I'm sure I have errors but I tried 🤷🏽‍♀️thank y'all for reading and sorry it wasn't too long I just wasn't even sure if anyone would come across it if anyone even did! But Axel and luna if you have time list some ship names 💛