Undeniably | ✓

Chapter Sixty Eight (Part Two)| New year

But today is different.

Today, I feel happy. Not because my parents are dead, obviously, (that'd be rather morbid) but because I've moved on. I think, I've officially moved on.

Yeah, I stopped morning their deaths years ago (besides their anniversary) but I always felt that dull ache deep down, like a flickering light bulb so close to going out but not quite.

Today I feel refreshed, like I'm ready to move on with my life. I feel like I can breathe.

I feel like two thousand and nineteen truly is the beginning of something new, something greater.

Today I am grateful, for hundreds of thousands of things. I am thankful for my brother whom I love dearly, I am thankful for my friends-my family, for my scholarship, for trivial things like books and food, (of course) I am specifically thankful for Grayson.

Not just because he's my boyfriend, but because he's taught me the definition of love. He's taught me what it's like to be spontaneous. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first time, my first love.

He was there for my first tattoo, though I guess he convinced me, so it was inevitable.

Flashbacks flooded my mind as I recalled the events of this year.

I got detention on the first day, my first ever detention and it was because of Grayson. I went skinny dipping for the first time. I saw a flower field for the first time, my god I'm going to miss the clearing, it's breathtaking.

My brother and I expanded our relationship, we became closer. We tested each other's patience and trust, but we taught each other what family means-what having each other really means.

Shawn too, he taught me how to chase your dreams, he also taught me it's okay to have more then one friend and it's also okay to let people in. I've never met someone as passionate as him, he truly feels, he feels deeply about everything, no matter how insignificant.

And Taylor. She's taught be betrayal and heartbreak. That friends can do you wrong, though at the same time she's showed me that trust can be regained and no all breaking of trust is the equivalent to bad intentions.

Cam and Avery, goodness I love them. They've taught the entirety of Riverview high to be loud and proud no matter what your sexuality is and I both admire and adore then dearly for that. Avery taught me mainly, that "popular" girls are normal people too, whether they show it or not. She demolished that stereotype.

This morning I woke up around ten thirty because I'm lazy and could literally sleep for twenty four hours straight if there were no disruptions, though this morning there was. No, it wasn't Grayson trying to have sex with me for the millionth time, or my own snoring.

It was the sky, duh.

The floor-to-ceiling window covering the entirety of what would usually be a wall. We hadn't closed the curtains before falling asleep last night so the sky was well awake and extremely blinding, if Grayson didn't have a pillow stuffed over his face, I'm sure he'd be wide awake and not too happy about it either.

If I was at home and this happened, I'd be grouchy for the next twelve hours but I'm in New York, in a penthouse directly next to a soon-to-be NFL player, this is like a dream come true.

The other night after Grayson and I went to that adorable little café slash book store, we drank our hot chocolates and he gave me a piggy back home and we got room service, it was amazing. Though, we were extremely fast to fall asleep.

The next day we spent mostly here, at this suite. We lit the fireplace, had an unhealthy amount of room service, we had another bath and talked for hours on end, about anything and everything. We cuddled on the overly big L shaped couch, then things heated up and the rest is history, a lot of history.