Alone and Unloved

Chapter 26

Holy Fuck! I'm kissing Micheal! I'm kissing my damn teacher! And it feels so good! I slowly move my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck. I don't want this to end. I've been dreaming about what it would be like to kiss him. How soft his lips might be. If his kiss would be gentle or rough? Sweet or demanding? Right now, I can say that it's way better than anything I had imagined. He is gentle and sweet, almost like he is afraid to hurt me.

He runs his tongue softly across my bottom lip, asking to let him in. I open my mouth a little, afraid that maybe I'm reading the signal wrong. He instantly but, ever so gently slips his tongue in my slightly parted mouth... deepening the kiss. His arms wrap around me, tightening around my waist, as he pulls me onto his lap. Holding me so close to him.

Kissing him is so amazing that I don't even think about the lack of oxygen. I can't believe this is happening. I should stop it, it's beyond wrong. But, I can't bring myself to push him away. Kissing him feels so right. I have never had anyone kiss me like Micheal is kissing me now. And, I don't want it to stop but, I know it will. I've never hated the fact that we need to breathe air to survive, more than I do right at this moment.

He, ever so gently, stops kissing me and pulls his head back a little. Looking me right in my eyes. "Chloe, I don't care about your past. I don't care about your family....I mean I do, cause they hurt you...but, I don't...fuck! You  know what I mean." He rambles a little, causing me to let out a small giggle but, I don't say anything. He is being so cute and sweet right now and, I really don't want to ruin it.

"Chloe, I know you are not ready for anything and, everything is so complicated. Hell, I might even be your teacher from tomorrow......I will wait for you. I don't want to force anything on you. But, I will wait for you. As long as it takes...I will wait. Because you are worth everything!" He says, while running his hands up and down my arms.

I just stare into his eyes while he tells me he will wait. That I'm worth everything. If only he knew how wrong he was. Just that single thought makes me feel beyond sad. Doesn't he realise how unloveable I am. Jimmy and Micheal tell me these sweet things and I know they doing it to make me feel better. But, that just hurts more. I wish they wouldn't lie to me like this.

"Micheal, I appreciate what you and Jimmy are saying....but" I start talking, before I can finish he already cuts me off. "Chloe, don't finish that sentence or thought. You are amazing... you are kind, sweet, loving, funny, playful and so so beautiful. You are one in a million." I can see something suddenly flash in his eyes, something I can't read.

He looks me directly in my eyes and brings a hand up to cup my cheek. "Chloe!" He says, his eyes looking deeper into mine...almost like he is begging me to believe his next words. "Chloe, you are my sun, you are my moon, you are my stars! You are my rainbow after the storm! You brighten any room you walk into. You are everything to me. I love you." I look at him, completely shocked. "No no no no no" I start to panic and instantly stand up from sitting on him. I back away, shaking my head. "That's not true...you don't mean that!" He stands up as I shake me head again. He can't mean that! How can he mean that? He doesn't know everything I've done. He doesn't know how dirty and worthless I am.

He pulls me into his arms, looking down at me, so he is able to meet my eyes. "Chloe, I meant every single word. I didn't realise until just before but, what I said is true! Why can't you believe me?" There is so much sadness in his beautiful eyes. "You don't know who I am, what I have done." I shake my head again, "I'm not worthy of being loved." "Then tell me, if you must...but, I can tell you right now! It won't change how I feel." He says, gently stroking my cheek.

I pull away from him. I shake my head at him. "I can't do this, I just want to go home." I say, and move to walk past him so I can find Jax and ask him to take me home. I know it's selfish but, I can't be here anymore.

He grabs onto my arm and pulls me to him. I freak out and start to struggle. Trying to get away from him. That night flashing through my mind again. I suddenly scream, causing him to let me go. I fall to my knees, on the ground. Holding my head in my hands. It feels like all the air has left my body and I can't breathe. Before I even realise what's happening, everyone is outside, surrounding me. Wanting to know what's happening. I can't make out their exact words but, it sounds like Jax and Sam are shouting at Micheal. Jimmy kneels down next to me. He puts his hands on my shoulders, "Chloe! .... Chloe! ....... You need to breathe sweetheart!" That name pulls me out of everything. I pull away from Jimmy as fast as I can. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I scream at him. Shock written all over his face. I get up and start running.

I don't know where I'm running to...I just run. Leaving everyone and everything behind me.

Micheal's P.O.V

Chloe pulls away from me. "I can't do this. I just want to go home", she says. And starts to walk past me. I just poured my heart out to her. I know she is not ready. I know she has been hurt so fucking bad, by so many people. I know how fucking crazy I sound. I mean, I just told her the most sappiest shit ever and said those 3 words that one should not say to anyone, unless they truly mean it.

But, it's true. I didn't realise it until now. I mean, I thought I was just falling for her. But, Jimmy was right. I love her. It's completely true. I LOVE HER. No matter what she has done, what she has been through, how broken and worthless she thinks she is. I love her so fucking much.

Before I can even think about what I'm doing, I grab her arm. She immediately starts struggling in my hold, as I try to pull her to me. She needs to know that I'm not lying. Suddenly she screams. What the fuck! Shit! I let her go, the memory of the last time I grabbed her reminding me of how stupid I am to do this again.

She falls to her knees, on the ground. Hyperventilating, just as everyone rushes out the front door. Susie stands there completely shocked and confused. Jimmy, Jax and Sam look at Chloe on the ground. Jimmy starts making his way to Chloe as Jax and Sam's eyes shift to me. Jax looks like he wants to murder me. Both of them stomp over to me, "What the fuck did you do?" Jax spits out, almost growling at me in the process. "Mike, what the fuck is going on?" Sam asks, not as pissed as Jax but, still pissed enough to freak me out. I raise my hands in the air and move back a couple steps. "I didn't do anything! I swear...we were talking and I grabbed her arm without thinking. I'm really sorry but, I swear I didn't do anything." I say, trying to calm Jax and Sam. It works on Sam, but Jax..."I'm going to fucking kill you Mike!" He gets in my face. "She wouldn't scream for nothing Mike! Tell me what you fucking did to her! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" He screams into my face. Susie and Sam rush to pull Jax away, before he does something stupid. "Jax, I swear I did nothing. I wouldn't hurt her! I swear to god I would never hurt her! I lover her!" I say to him. Susie, Jax and Sam instantly stop everything and look at me. Complete and utter shock all over their faces.

Just then we turn and look at Jimmy and Chloe as we hear her scream, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" And she gets up and starts running.

We all stand there completely freaked out. What is going on? I don't know how long we all stood there for, in completely silence. All of us obviously confused about what the hell is happening. Before anyone can say anything, I grab Sam's keys out his pocket and run to his car, climbing in. "Dude, what the fuck you doing?" Sam calls over to me. "I'm going after her...I have to fix this" I answer back, just as I drive off in the direction she went.

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Wow, so intense!

Happy reading though. And please, vote/comment. Let me know your thoughts