The Daydreamer - A Werewolf Novel [Taylor Swift Playlist]

The Daydreamer - Chp 17 [Untouchable]

I didn’t want to ask though I needed to know from her, someone who has had to deal with this before. “How is she?” I asked softly hating to have to admit o was out of the loop hole with my fiancé, my mate.

She sighed helplessly “Her nightmares are back.” She said miserably.

Again she grew shocked at my frowning expression. “She’s never had nightmares when she’s with me, what nightmares?” I asked.

She smiled slightly at some secret thought of hers until she became solemn again. “She dreams at times, especially when he arises in her life again, about her past…things he use to do to her.” I growled “I know.” She agreed oblivious or unfazed by my growl “When she first moved in it was every night. Not even sleeping with me helped. I didn’t know what to do; she only ever told me one of her dreams. She stopped once she saw my face. I shudder at thinking of the things he’s done to her.” My fists clenched and I had to fight to control myself. “So she hasn’t been sleeping, nor eating or even leaving the room except for the toilet.” I took a deep breath in urgent need of control.

Suddenly Lilly picked up one of my hands in hers and squeezed it warmly as if she knew my struggle though I was sure she did it out of need of support. “She won’t look at me, even talk. I think that’s why she didn’t tell you also. She blames herself.”

I tensed “Why?” I asked slowly utterly bewildered how anybody, my Emmy especially, could blame themselves over something like this.

“She sees it that if she had just lied the way shed been told to than she wouldn’t be here with everyone hurt, the only one hurt would be her.” That was utterly insane! Lilly sighed deeply “I tell you what though, she is stronger than I could ever be with what she’s dealt with alone, she’s just like her mother.” I nodded, I couldn’t agree more; that time at the park where she told me, comforting me! And then she was smiling and racing me to the swings! She was the most courageous person I knew; I think everyone could see it, bar her.

Lilly groaned suddenly startling me as I was pulled from my thoughts “I don’t know what to do.” She buried her face in her head. “I know she blames herself.”

We were silent, unsure of what to do as we sat overcome with grief.

***

What felt like hours later the door from Mamma’s room softly clicked and Em stepped out her condition making me angry. She kept her gaze down as she turned up the hall in the different direction to us. I wondered if she even knew I was here with our link broken and all.

Automatically I jumped up and looked to Lilly, she was heading for Mamma’s room, and catching my eye she titled her head towards Em.

I didn’t run, I didn’t have to as her pace being so slow and heavy. She turned a corner into a darked deserted hall and I knew she now knew I was there as her eyes kept to her toes.

It angered me that she wouldn’t look at me and without thinking I pushed her up against the wall and growled. “You’re not leaving me.” She kept her eyes on the middle of my chest as I trapped her against the wall, my hands on either side of her face against the wall.

It was just as I was about to demand her to look at me that she spoke. “Why not?” she whispered her eyes still averted. “I only hurt everyone, I'll hurt you.”

I couldn’t help it but crack “Em you hurt me once you left, once you pulled away. Our link, our relationship is breaking because you won’t tell me a damn thing, nothing. Do you seriously have no trust in me what so ever?” I could see the tears streaming down her face as she pressed as close as possible against the wall and away from me. “You know what hurt the most though? You promised me you wouldn’t run, you promised me. And you broke it Em.” I whispered the pain thick in my voice.

There was a pause of silence and then finally she met my eyes, her eyes wide and wet with silent tears that streamed down her eyes thick black in need of sleep. I wanted to kill him so bad. I wanted to kill myself for saying those things which would hurt her more, blame herself more.

“I didn’t tell you” she began slowly “because I'm sick of being the damsel, the girl who can't deal with anything herself, I just prayed he’d be caught and that would be it.” She admitted her bottom lip trembling. “I didn’t tell you as it may mean that I have to be put in witness protection and I couldn’t do that to you Jace.” She sobbed. What? Leaving me? Damn straight she couldn’t do it, where she goes I go. “I can't let you drop all of your life behind back at home, to give up your family and friends. Your whole life. I can't.”

I wanted to roll my eyes; she didn’t tell me because she was trying to protect me, not because she didn’t trust me.

“If this is because of the guilt.” I began slowly reaching for her hand.

“Everything is about the guilt, about what I’ve fucked up.” She said her voice livid but at herself as she pulled away from my reach startling me her anger as harsh as a whip speaking curses she’s never used. “If I had stayed with him Mamma would be perfectly fine at home scrapbooking. Aunt Lilly would be living her life not having to babysit, and probably not single and all alone. And you wouldn’t have found some shit mate so you could instead get it on with Clara.” I growled angrily at that but she ignored me, she was utterly ferocious at herself, it was always herself, never anyone else. “So yeah if I'd stayed with him and lied no one would be hurt by me, hey I may not even exist, even better!” she cried those words ripping me apart as she panted slightly her eyes blazing.

I myself was fighting not to change. How could she say such things?! Taking steady breaths I focused on the beautiful things; the first time we met on the bus, finding her in the mall, our first kiss, me proposing, the first time we’d made love... My shoulders relaxed and my heart and breathing was now even, my fists unclenched.

There was a silence and she broke it her voice small as she kept her eyes down again. “What now?” she whispered “Have you finally realised and decided that leaving me is your best option? What do you want to do?”

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