I still dream about her

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I am on the picnic with my mom. She is sitting on the grass. She is smiling
We are waiting my dad to come
from work. I'm asking mom to look
the dog which I saw around the wood She finally allow me. I start running to it. I can't wait I want to see it!
                            ------
Everything is almost black. The sky is red. Where is mom? I can't see her... Actually, I can't see almost anything! I'm feeling only pain on my face. What is that on it... Is it.. Blood? A lot of blood. I'm screaming, where is mom?!

I woke up screaming. I could hear my heart. I breathed hard.
"Only nightmare... Calm down... " I told to myself.
My blue, long hair was in front of my face. So I felt more secure. The blanket was fallen on the ground. My pillow too.
I knew the nightmares weren't real, but I knew this happened before years too. And I dreamed it again. I dreamed her again. This nightmare, this fucking nightmare. This still keep we awake. I still can't sleep, i still can't stop thinking about her. I'm still scared.

I tried to calm down

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I tried to calm down. I looked the clock next to my bed. It was 3:45 AM. My breathing was slowly normalizing. I looked around the room. Most of my stuff hadn't yet been unpacked and stood in boxes. I had put a couple of posters on the wall. I looked them in the pale moonlight, coming from the window. The curtain swung from the light night breeze. There was calm. Was quietly. No sounds. Only soothing silence.

I put the pillow and tyr blanket back on the bed. I tried to sleep, but that was impossible. The screaming still was in my mind, her scared face too.
I knew this night I will not sleep.

With what I deserved this torture... Oh, I guessed.

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