Pretend // Brandon Arreaga

32- Five Weeks

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Brandon locked eyes with her. The pain was back in her eyes as she sat there and tried to find the words. He was patient with her and stood there quietly waiting on her to speak. Finally, he mouth parted as she prepared to speak.

"I have a fear you're going to be like Levi and cheat on me with Charlotte." She blubbered out. She looked embarrassed and defeated.

Brandon understood completely. Being cheated on had to leave lasting effects on her and would always interfere with future relationships.  He was beginning to feel real bad about hiding his feelings that still existed for Charlotte.

"Care, I'd never cheat on you. I don't even have feelings like that for Charlotte anymore." He said, making sure they had locked eye contact.

"I overreacted with it. I know If takes time to get over someone you loved so much. I just feel we shouldn't have rushed into a relationship because those feelings are raw still." Caroline explained.

Brandon pushed the stuff on the counter aside and grabbed her hands. "If you genuinely want to not be together for a while, then we can do that. You just have to promise we'll eventually go back together." Brandon whispered, rubbing his thumbs over her hands. He had a touch that instantly calmed her down no matter the situation.

"I want to be with you Brandon, but I'm constantly going to be doubting you, which I shouldn't do! I can't do the whole relationship thing while I know you're still talking to her about God knows what when we're together." She replied, slightly raising her voice.

"I understand that. That night she texted me and you got upset, which you did rightfully so, she was telling me she was thinking about moving to LA and wanted to rekindle our relationship. I guess at the time I was considering it even though you were there." Brandon sighed, realizing how much of a dick he sounded like.

"So what feelings do you exactly have for me if you wanted her two nights ago?" Caroline asked. Anger was flashing through her eyes now.

"Let me finish." He said looking up at her. "I didn't say anything back that night. Last night I told her I was happily with you and I had no intentions of rekindling what me and her had."

"Why would you lie? Clearly two days ago you wanted her back." Caroline asked, narrowing her eyes.

"It was more the idea of her. We have so many memories together and she's shaped who I am. I guess that's why I was excited she might be moving to LA." Brandon explained, realizing more and more how awful he was being towards her.

"Do we not have memories? Did I not help shape you into you somehow? Because I used to hear ten times a day how all this was because of me." Caroline scoffed.

Brandon sighed again. He was getting no where with her. He began to take his anger out on the chicken he was cutting up.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Caroline. I'm telling you how I feel and you keep getting mad at me." Brandon said calmly.

"I'm mad because you keep saying how Charlotte has done this and that and that you still love her. Do you know how that makes me feel? I feel like you never loved me, that everything you claim to feel for me has been a fucking lie." Caroline yelled, pain lacing her voice.

"It wasn't a lie! I do love you! We have great memories together." Brandon replied.

"I just want you to be able to look at me and say you don't love her anymore. That's all I'm asking and you can't say that." Caroline cried, feeling defeated.

Brandon sighed and laid the knife on the counter. He was not going to even be able to cook until they had either settled the situation or killed each other trying.

"I'm sorry I can't get over Charlotte like you did with Levi. I'll get there, it's just going to take time." Brandon replied. His voice sounded exhausted. He felt like he was trying to move mountains when trying to get through to her.

Caroline let out a exasperated groan and threw her head into her palms. She was just as annoyed and aggravated as he was. The conversation was going in circles and they were bound to repeat themselves ten more times before giving up.

"Are you going home for Christmas?" Caroline asked suddenly, peaking at him through her fingers.

"Uhh...yeah. Why?" Brandon answered, confused by the question at such an odd time.

"Good, that gives us five weeks to figure our shit out." Caroline replied, looking up at him. He was staring at her in utter confusion. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "You have five weeks to figure out these feelings and I have five weeks to figure out why I feel so damn insecure right now. We'll see each other again in Texas."

"So what will we do with each other these five weeks?" Brandon asked, raising an eyebrows.

"Figure our what we want and where we want this to go. You let me know whenever you get back to Texas, but until then we should just stick to checking in on each other." Caroline explained.

"Okay." Brandon breathed, standing up straight. "Five weeks. It's just five weeks."

"Can you leave now?" Caroline asked, rubbing the back of her neck.

"So this is how we're going to end things? I leave and don't see you again for five weeks? Are we together or are we split up? I mean what am I agreeing to here?" Brandon asked, annoyance lacing her voice.

"You decide that, Brandon. You decide what you want for the next five weeks." Caroline stated, biting her bottom lip. "Show yourself out whenever. I'm going to lay down."

Caroline left the kitchen without another word. She made her way to the guest bedroom and laid on the bed facedown. Between her dad and Brandon she was an emotional wreck and just wanted to go home. Five weeks seemed so far away though.

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