Afraid (Lashton)

Chapter 4

Luke's POV

I can't believe Calum made me give that horrible note to Ashton. Ashton doesn't deserve anything I do to him, he's such a wonderful person and then I go and make him feel miserable.

It scares me to know that Ashton might take that note into consideration and actually commit suicide. I can't let him do that, I care about him too much. You're probably wondering why I'm such a dick to him, but it's a long story.

The teacher still hadn't arrived yet so I decided I'd find him. I ran out of the class with Calum shouting my name. I was thinking where he'd be, but I ran straight to the bathroom.

I quietly opened the door and saw Ashton against the wall.

"P-Please don't h-hurt me", Ashton sobbed. My heart broke. I can't believe I have done this to him.

I shook my head. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I wanna see if you're alright", I walked towards him.

"Alright? You think I'm alright? GUESS WHAT, LUKE? IM NOT!", He shouted.

"EVERYONE FUCKING HATES ME. YOU BEAT ME UP. YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF AND YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!", He yelled.

A tear fell from my eye. I've never seen this side of Ashton before. He's usually so quiet and shy, and now he's shouting at me.

"Ashton i'm so sorry. I never meant for it to get this far", I said.

"How far did you think it would get, Luke? Shit, I better not yell at you, you're gonna kill me after...on the bright side, everyone wants me dead, so go head", He said.

"Please don't say that, no one wants you dead, and I definitely don't", I replied.

He stood up. "Don't fuck with me, Luke! Why else would you of given me that note", He sobbed.

"Calum told me to give it to you, I would never tell someone to kill themselves!", I shouted.

"That's no excuse, you still gave it to me", He said.

I sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry".

"Shut the fuck up, Luke, I hate you", He said before leaving out the bathroom.

I've fucked up bad, and now I've made him hate me.

I guess it's time to say why I treat him like shit...

Just before Ashton told me he was gay, I began to get feelings for him, but thought he was straight so I didn't do anything about it. I never told anyone I was bisexual because I was afraid of what might happen.

Soon as Ashton told me he was gay I began to bully him because I was too afraid to admit my feelings towards him.

I guess you could say I was scared of being in a relationship with him because he's so...perfect and amazing, I didn't want to fuck up.

Now I see what he has to go through every single day. The bullying, the rude comments, the glares, the pointing, everything. I'm scared that if I admit I'm bisexual, everyone will bully me like they do Ashton.

It's unfair. Ashton is sweet, beautiful, kind, funny, dorky, and he doesn't deserve any of the shit he gets.

But the other thing that is making me bully Ashton is...Calum. He pressures me to hurt Ashton on purpose for no reason, just so he won't get in trouble.

I regret every single thing I've ever done to Ashton.

I'm Luke Hemmings, and I beat up my crush.

-

I decided to skip Maths and ditch school for the rest of the day. I walked to my car and was about to get in when I saw Skylar skip towards me.