Chapter 1 (Updated {8/30/2020)

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Damien's POV

Why hello there, Mortals.

My name is Damien Thorn, the son of the Antichrist, Satan, but you most likely already know that. I'm 16, and go to South Park High School, so yes, that means I'm back on Earth again in South Park, Colorado.

"What are you doing here?", you might be asking? Well, when I turned 15, my father saw that I wasn't "socializing" enough, so he decided to send me to Earth again. He also let my friend come with me, who died and was sent to Hell after getting crushed by some giant robot of some sort.

So now I live here with my good friend, Pip Pirrup . I know his real name is Phillip, but I think it's fun to mess with him. We live together in a small apartment, but it's not like we're together romantically or anything, were just roommates.

Anyways, I wake up to the usual room that I sleep in, at my usual time at 5:30AM. Next to me is a sleeping Pip, who always has to count on me to wake him up. I stand up, and walk over to his bed, still trying to wake up myself.

"Come on sleepy head, we gotta get ready for school."

He opens his eyes a tiny bit, but instead of getting up, he closes his eyes again, and turns to his side. "Nope, five more minutes...", he replies, sounding pretty tired. 

I won't give up that easily.

"Alright then, guess you'll be late, Frenchie.", I say slightly smiling and slowly backing up.

That instantly shot him up.

"Hey! How many times do I have to tell you!? Im. Not. FRENCH!"

He sounds like such a child.

"And how many times do I have to tell you not go to bed so late? So what if you fail that quiz? Your already passing anyway."

He tried to think of something clever to say, but he had nothing. He knew I was right.

He usually always study's late so he can keep his good grades, but he sometimes goes overboard and stays up till midnight.

"Fine, you're right, but it doesn't give you a right to call me French when in fact you know I'm British."

"Gee, really? I never noticed.", I say chuckling.

He gave me a pissed off look, rolled his eyes, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

God danm it, I love to mess with him.

(1 hour later...)

We made it to the bus stop, well, I made it first, since ever since we started high school, we would always race to the bus stop.

I know that's a stupid game to play, especially since we're teenagers, but hey, why should I care what anyone thinks? If I'm having fun, then it doesn't matter.

Of course, since I made it first, I had a panting Pip right running up behind me.

"It's....never fair since...you're older then me!", he said between pants.

"Well guess what, Pip? Life isn't fair now, is it? Besides, you beat me last week."

"Whatever!", he said, pissed off again and still tried from running.

"Aw, are you guys having a love quarrel again?", said a voice behind me. I knew exactly who it belonged to as well.

"What do you want, fatass?", I say turning around to see Eric fucking Cartman in front of me, and  his friends coming from behind him as well.

"The fuck do you mean, "What do I want!?", This is my bus stop, dumbass!"

I rolled my eyes at him and turned away.

Why does he always assume me and Pip are dating? Oh right, because it's Eric fucking Cartman. Of course he would say that stupid fucking bullshit. 

After a few minutes, the bus comes, and we all get on. Me and Pip sit near the back, which is just in front of Eric fat ass.

After a few minutes of driving, I heard whispers behind me.

"Hey, so you know how Tokens throwing that party later today?", which came from what sounded like Kenny. Then I heard Cartman speak back.

"Yeah? So what?"

"Well, I heard he is also inviting...those two.", and there was a few seconds of silence after.

"Who? You mean the Frenchie and Satan Jr? But those two are complete losers!"

"Hey, I heard that, fatass!", I yell turning around and looking over the seat.

"Suck my balls, Fartboy!", he replied while flipping me off.

I turned back around in my seat again. I hate Cartman, but to be honest, he's kind of right. Even though I was pretty popular in my old school, it's definitely not the case here. 

The made up rule at our school is that you can only be "cool" if you pick on somebody, but me and Pip are the only main targets, so we're no where near the popular spot. Though, I was a little popular when I came here the first time 6 years ago, but that was when I nearly killed Pip just so I wouldn't but a target to be called fartboy.

Yeah, that was stupid of me, but I was a 10 year old kid back then! Kids are pretty fucking stupid!

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Hey there again! No matter if you're an OG reader or a new reader, thank you for reading the updated version of this chapter!

Also, remember I would write a question here? Well, the one that used to be here was: "Do you take FSA test?"

Haha- my dumbass kid self forgot that not everyone lives in my state, so let me change it.

How is you're day today? :>

Once again, thanks for reading this update, and I'll post again soon!

Bu- bye!

(New Word Count: 950)


"One Kiss is all it Takes"~(South Park Dip story){Currently being Rewritten!}Où les histoires vivent. Découvrez maintenant