Chapter 6

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Leah came back from her dinner with Harry with a look of love on her face and a large, shiny new diamond on her finger. She, of course, was completely shocked by the whole evening. But she was glowing, and she continues to glow as we sit at Louis's next game of the tournament.

I can't help but think that Leah's ring is taunting me, as it glimmers whenever the light catches it, shining right into my eyes. It isn't that I'm not happy for Harry and Leah, I couldn't be more happy for them. They really are the perfect couple, meant to be and all that soulmate stuff. But something about Harry and Leah getting engaged has put my whole relationship with Louis into perspective. We couldn't even figure out where we would be in a year, let alone the rest of our lives. And here is another relationship ready to commit their rest of their lives to each other.

I know I shouldn't compare, 'the grass is always greener on the other side' and all that stuff, but I can't help but wonder if Louis and I will ever be at that point. At this rate, it doesn't seem like anytime soon anyways.

"Harry chose well," I say out loud, gesturing to Leah's ring in case she caught me staring through my internal monologue.

"He did didn't he," she giggles, turning to gaze at her new fiancé, the dimples in his cheeks forming with his smile.

"She may have dropped a few hints," Harry chuckled.

"Oh those weren't hints darling, those were demands," Leah laughs back, before Harry sets a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Don't worry Alexia, when your time comes I'll make sure Louis gets it approved by me."

"Think we might be waiting awhile for that," I say sarcastically. "But thanks."

"Oh don't be too hard on him Alexia. Louis has always been a little slow on the commitments. And I suppose he has good reason to, I mean that boys been through more heartache than most people deserve in a lifetime. But trust me Alexia, you are important to him. He's not going to want to let you go anytime soon."

I smile at Harry, his words were kind, but they'd done nothing to vanquish the internal thoughts polluting my mind. I try my best to focus in on Louis's game again. Cheering as loud as I can from the sidelines. He'd been playing well. And if they won this game, they'd be in the championship.

Our time in England is flying by, and I can't help but feel sadness at the fact that soon this time will come to an end, and I'll be thrown back into the stresses of life and medical school applications.

I lean back in my seat, taking in the noise of the cheering crowd and the smell of the turf. Because at least for a few more days, London would be my reality.

************

Louis doesn't fall through on his offer, which shocked me, especially after another well-fought but long victory in the tourney. He brings me to a nice sit down restaurant with a large window overlooking the river Thame. It is the romantic evening I've been picturing since I first found out that I would be able to come on this trip with him. But as much as I want to enjoy the moment, my internal thoughts dance through my brain, and before long they sneak their way out.

"Louis what are we doing?"

"We're having dinner love, what kind of a question is that," Louis gives me a look of questioning, picking up his beer from the table and taking a sip.

I sigh, knowing that the second the words leave my mouth our nice romantic evening is going to come to an end, but all the same feeling the urgency to push my thoughts into the conversation."I mean, what are we doing? In our relationship? I mean we've got one semester left in the same place and we just push it off like we've got ages."

"Harry and Leah's engagement got to you?" He says with a raise of his eyebrow, like he can read my mind. Which he can...most of the time.

"It's not about the engagement Louis," my voice unintentionally snaps.

"Really?" Louis raises an eyebrow. "Because Harry and Leah get engaged and now suddenly you are asking all sorts of serious questions about the status of our relationship."

"You think I shouldn't be asking serious questions?"

"No, I didn't say that love. I just think you need to remember that Harry and Leah's relationship is far different than ours."

"And how's that?" I prod, wondering where exactly Louis is going with all this.

"Well for starters, the two of them were madly in love with each other from the second they first met," he chuckles. "And," he begins reaching out across the table to grab my hand, "this has all kind of been part of their grand plan. Even at the beginning, they knew that they wanted to spend their entire lives together."

"And what? You don't want to spend your entire life with me?" I say, Louis's words stinging me a little. If I had my choice, if life worked out perfectly and didn't throw me anymore curveballs, I knew that I would pick Louis to spend the rest of my life with. There wasn't a question about it. Did Louis not feel the same way?

"That's not what I said. I just.." he pauses, searching for the words that are least likely to upset me. "I just think that we don't need to have everything planned out. Let's just let life happen and go from there."

I stay quiet. Not because I don't have a million reasons why Louis's argument that we should just let life happen is completely incorrect, but because I don't want my one night of being out in the city to be ruined by our inability to communicate. I bite my tongue, instead stuffing a bite of my pasta dish down my throat.

"Alexia..." his voice begs, noting the change in my body language. "Don't be upset with me."

"I'm not upset with you Louis," I sigh. "I just feel like we aren't communicating. And at some point, we've got to start."

Louis stays quiet but nods, taking a bite of his own food. I can tell that his mind is thinking by the way his nose is crinkled just the slightest. I didn't want to fight with Louis. I never want to fight with Louis, but there were decisions in our life- big decisions- that were coming far sooner than either of us would like to admit. And I wasn't about to let our relationship be blindsided by them.

"I'm really glad you came on this trip with me love," Louis speaks softly. "I know I haven't exactly been the most present, or the most open with what I'm thinking. But I do know that having you here," he pauses and his blue eyes meet mine, almost dissolving the frustration from my body. "Having you here has been the best possible scenario. Because I know you have my back if I need it, and I know that if there's something I don't think I can handle, you'll be there by my side. So thank you, because I know being away from home this time of year wasn't an easy decision for you."

I gaze at my boyfriend, feeling my heart grow a little warmer from his words. His words that maybe for the first time on this trip, were honest and vulnerable. Our relationship was far from clearing all its obstacles, and we still had a lot to work on, but maybe for a moment, it didn't feel doomed. It wasn't the answer to my questions, and it wasn't a solution to our coming year. But it was Louis saying something. And something was better than nothing.

"I love you Louis Tomlinson," I smile softly.

"And I love you a thousand times more, Alexia Hollaway," Louis replies, squeezing my hand in a way that makes me forget that I ever doubted his love for me.

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Look at me three Sunday updates in a row!

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