"Maybe he does try to do poorly," Sirius suggested. "That muggle cousin of his doesn't have two brain cells to rub together. If Harry was punished for doing well in school growing up maybe he is subconsciously doing it still."
"So since Ron is his best mate he just makes sure he stays at Ron's level so he doesn't attract attention?" Remus asked. When Sirius nodded he added, "Well Ron is the jealous type, maybe Harry is afraid he won't stay his friend if he's smart. And Hermione would feel threatened by anyone she perceived as smarter than her."
Harry stopped reading and thought about his time at Hogwarts and realized that he never tried hard to learn anything, other than the patronus, until he started to look up spells for the DA. He decided then that he would go back through all his books and re-read them. He made a promise to himself and to Sirius that he would actually try and do well from now on. He figured that now that he was aware of what he was doing he would be able to stop, hopefully.
It took Harry 8 hours to finish reading the journal and when he finished the ache in his heart over loosing his godfather had started to heal. He had a long way to go, but he was on the road to getting over Sirius' death. He had taken a few notes to remind him of what he needed and wanted to do when he finished the journal and the list looked like:
Become better in school
What are the wards at #4 Privet Dr?
Talk to Gringotts goblin about finances
Review laws for underage magic
Buy new clothes
Buy more books
Learn self-defense
See Eye Doctor
Determine who I can trust
Read about Prophesies
Find if there is another copy of my smashed prophesy
Write to the Department of Mysteries
Write to the Department for Underage Wizardry
Find a lawyer about the Dursleys
Did Sirius have a will?
Did my parents have a will?
Make plans for summer
He had read about how Sirius was suspicious of the Weasley family's friendship with Harry. That there had been Order meetings that he wasn't allowed to attend, even though it was his house, and that it was best not to trust the Order blindly. Sirius told him about the prophesy and said that he wasn't sure it was complete and not to put too much hope on it as divination was very imprecise. He also found out that Dumbledore and the Order KNEW how his family treated him growing up. They knew how they starved him and verbally attacked him and how Dudley beat him up. He also found out that the Dursley's were PAID to take care of him. He was determined to get a lawyer about that!
After eating and sleeping for a few hours Harry was at a loss of where to start. The 1st thing on his list was to do better in school but without his OWL results he didn't even know where he stood with his scores as he'd never seen any. He smiled when a folder appeared on the table; it was his school file! He realized that Remus was right as he barely averaged Acceptable in most subjects and would do worse if he didn't do so much better on the practical than the written or homework. He realized that Umbridge had been right about one thing, he wouldn't be getting a job at the Ministry with scores like his!
What really upset him though was finding his personal records in the file and the list of maladies and injuries that Madame Pomfrey had recorded over the years. The report from his 1st year made him angry as she reported to Dumbledore signs of abuse, severe malnourishment, stunted growth, eye problems from poor diet, poor muscle tone suggesting prolonged confinement and evidence of multiple crippling injuries that were poorly healed and evidence of multiple concussions and lasting damage to the left lung. The reports from the next years were not as detailed but all reported on his poor treatment at the Dursley's along with suggested courses of treatment that he was never given that would repair the damage, fix his height problems and improve his eyesight. He decided he needed to add 'See a Healer' to his list for the summer.
Chapter 1: Finding Comfort in the ROR
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