Brutality | Harry Styles

Chapter 26

There were a lot of Harry's things scattered over Melody's apartment. She realized this in the next few weeks. T-shirts, sweatshirts, a roll of tape, hair ties. She even found a stick of his deodorant in the bathroom. It all made her nauseous.

Bea was back. Part of it was because Melody had told her all about what happened with Harry. But part of it was also because she and Dom had been arguing, with their new constant proximity. They needed some separation.

"That was a pretty shitty move, Mel," she had said. And she was right.

Melody still couldn't wrap her mind around the end of her relationship. It felt like the wrong ending to a book, like the last few pages were missing. But Bea thought it would be easier if there weren't reminders of Harry everywhere.

"Boys are so fucking weird," Bea said, stuffing another item into the tote bag full of his things. "How do you go somewhere wearing a jacket and then leave without it?"

Melody didn't reply. She was folding up a worn cotton shirt, the logo of Harry's gym peeling off the front. It was her favorite to sleep in because it was the oldest, most-washed, softest of all his clothing. She swallowed around the knot in her throat and placed the shirt deep within the bag so that she wouldn't have to look at it.

Bea leaned back on her knees. A strange calm had come over Melody since she'd been with her. Or perhaps not calm, but resignation. And Bea knew that Melody had had break ups before. She had witnessed one the previous year, when they were living closer to campus, in a nicer apartment that neither of them could really afford. That was Nate, an archaeology major, and it had taken Melody all of two days to forget the entirety of their three month relationship. This was different.

"I can come with you, if you want," Bea offered gently. She toyed with the freshly-washed curls that were dangling over her forehead, stretching them out to dry to her liking.

Melody smiled at her, or tried to. She couldn't get her cheeks to lift. She didn't feel the overwhelming urge to cry, though. And she didn't know if that was a good sign, that she was able to keep her emotions under wraps, or if that meant that her tears were just pooling, preparing for an onslaught when she saw Harry for perhaps the last time.

"No, I think I need to do this on my own," Melody whispered back. "But thank you."

"Of course." Bea rose to her feet and took a sip of the smoothie that she had made for an afternoon snack. There was one for Melody too, but it hadn't been touched. "Get in, get out, okay? Even better if he's not there. Just drop the shit off and come home. We'll watch a movie or something."

Melody didn't really feel up for smoothies or movies, but she nodded anyway. What she really should have been doing was working on the self-portrait for her art class, but she had a hard time going in the studio when Harry's eye was always staring at her and she would have to use the paintbrushes he'd bought for her birthday. Besides, she had a hard time looking at herself in the mirror lately.

"Okay," she agreed. She stood, a pair of sneakers already on her feet, a thick sweater already hanging down to her thighs. She pulled the tote over her shoulder and was surprised at its lightness after everything that she and Bea had packed up.

"Come right back." Bea patted Melody's hip and then returned to her room.

Melody hurried down the stairs and out onto the street before she could lose her nerve. April had found the city. Melting snow was trickling down from rooftops, forming puddles in the uneven sidewalks. The sun was warm when it was able to peak through clouds, and even though the park was many blocks away, Melody could smell the fresh scent of spring grass. It would have been a welcome change of season if the rest of her life didn't feel like a muddy mess.