I'm broken (Destiel)

Snakes

(Btw: this is a remake of the last chapter, "watch me burn". That one was about the aftermath of dean and cas's relationship after Cas admits to cheating. I deleted that and this is it's replacement. You might want to read the chapter before this so that this update will make more sense. Love- A)

Castiel was an honest person. He never tried to cause unnecessary pain or suffering. To him, the truth may be painful but it was necessary. He always delivered it in the most gentle way possible, knowing that often times, honesty was brutal. Lies polluted life and love. Lies were a virus. It started small but the devestation amounted in the end was never justified. Lies tore relationships and ruined images. 

In heaven, he was banished. Lies, from the mouth of Lucifer, from the archangles, from deceivers, had ruined him. They believed he was untrustworthy, spiteful, and murderous. Most of all, they believed he was worthless, and they always took the time to remind him. He was disowned by his kind, his only home. He faced death, resurrection, and devastation because of it. He knew early on from before he had betrayed them, before he had attempted to stop te apocolypse, that he was never going to be loved by the angles again. 

Yet, he did it. Why? Because the righteous man, the purest heart, the soul with the greatest intent, told him so. Because he fought through hell and rose to heaven to save one human, and to stop the appocalypse. Soon, heaven was resigned to the fact that fate was destiny, and prepared to fight to the end. That is, until Dean Winchester, a high school drop out with 6 dollars to his name, taught one angles of the lowest ranking the value of family.

Family held itself together through rough water, high mountains, and vast plains. Family doesn't end in blood, but most importantly, the angle learned, family never gives up on each other. The angle didn't know it yet, maybe didn't even begin to understand it, but dean Winchester was not going to let the earth be torn apart by heaven and hell. He wanted his family to survive. Castiel was part of that family. Dean taught Castiel that you aren't a toy for fate, and you certainly aren't a toy of heaven. He taught Castiel that he had a family, on earth, and that they were all going to find a way to survive together. 

Dean Winchester did the one unheard of thing. He got an angle to rebel. He made Castiel, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, abandon everything he knew. Leave behind the only relatives he'd ever known, for the only family that would ever come to matter. Dean Winchester taught Castiel freedom, autonomy, family, and righteousness. That's why he's called the righteous man. Because no matter what mountains he had to move or what foundations he had to topple, dean Winchester brought the world salvation and taught others the way it came. 

That is why Castiel loves him. Dean freed Castiel and for that he was replayed in the only way the angle knew how; love. 

That's why Castiel rebelled. He was in love with the righteous man. The angles were right. He could remember the way one of his sisters told him "Castiel you were lost from the moment you touched dean in hell" and she was right. From the moment they touched, Castiel knew dean, and chose to fight with him, to liberate him, regardless. 

Castiel is an honest person because he was taught the value of words from the person he values the most. So when he lied, when he tore his love apart, he knew what it would do. He understood the implications. And he accepted them. He accepted the truth: Dean meant when he said "you're dead to me". Why would Castiel do this, you wonder. 

Because Castiel is in love with the righteous man, and he was taught the value of freedom, the value of salvation of lies and secrecy. So he freed dean from their relationship, and decided to never look back. Maybe it would hurt for a year. Maybe it would hurt forever. But Castiel was also taught the value of autonomy, and he knew he could change that, but he was simply too afraid to look back.