Transitioning (Sebaek)

Chapter Two

The room fell silent as Mr Lee had began to take the role of the homeroom. There were some students that were whispering, Sehun finding that it was mainly the girls that were whispering. He could barely hear what they were saying, but, he knew that they were gossiping about someone as they kept on giggling. He looked around the room, looking at the girls that were giggling which caused them to stop instantly and wave at him while blushing. Sehun just gave them a little smile and waved, which made them giggle more and blush hard. Sehun looked back at the front of the room, feeling a little weird that they were giggling about something. He began to think. The girls that he had seen so far and the things that he had heard from them were directed towards him and to no one else. Was the testosterone that he was taking really that effective? Was the surgeries that he had that allowed him to have a flat chest and having a packer look that was convincing? Was it the masculine name that he had chose? Or was it everything combined together? It must be everything combined because if it was just one singular thing, he would still look or seem feminine.

Just the thought of being or looking feminine made him feel slightly dysphoric. The whole point of transitioning was to make him feel comfortable in his own body, even if it meant that he had to have hormone blockers, getting top surgery when the blockers wore off, get put on testosterone before the surgery and get his name changed on his birth certificate. The only thing that he needed to go through is the gender recognition certificate and bottom surgery. Well, he didn't need to go through the gender recognition certificate, but, he wanted to go through with it. He hasn't gone through it yet because he was a little scared of being rejected of not being recognised as his true gender.

"Sehun? Sehun?" he heard someone say, as well as hearing clicking near his ear. It was Baekhyun who was clicking near his ear and Mr Lee who was calling out his name.

"Hm? Oh sorry," Sehun apologised, "Here." He heard his voice crack when stating that he was in class. He internally freaked out when he heard his voice crack. Out of all the times his voice could've cracked, it had to crack now. He slouched down a little bit, feeling embarrassed that his voice had cracked in front of the peers of his homeroom that he would be in for the rest of the year and possibly to the day he would graduate. He was more concerned that someone would find out that he was a female to male transgender because of continuous voice cracking while every other guy in his class would've finished puberty by now.

"Are you ok there, Sehun?" Baekhyun asked, noticing that Sehun had slouched.

"Yep," Sehun answered, smiling a little bit, "I'm as good as I will ever be."

"Are you slouching because your voice cracked?" the older male asked, "You know that is nothing to be embarrassed about. You know that some of the girls behind us found it cute that your voiced cracked. Before you ask, I could hear them. They really weren't talking that quietly." Baekhyun pointed to the girls behind them, causing Sehun to turn around to look to see who the other male was talking about. The girls that were sitting behind them waved as him and Baekhyun made eye contact with them. Sehun waved back that them, again finding that the girls were blushing. Why do the girls here keep blushing when he waves at them? Maybe its just because he wasn't out as trans here. Maybe they'll stop when they find out that he is trans, but, it didn't really matter to him as he was gay and didn't really find girls attractive anyway.

"Sehun, can I ask you a question?" one of them asked.

"Sure," he answered, as he turned around a bit more.

"Why did your voice crack?" she asked, "Are you nervous or something? It was cute though."

"Thanks," he began, "And no, I'm not nervous. I don't know why my voice cracked."

"Maybe you were subconsciously nervous," another girl responded. It's actually the testosterone that I inject into my thigh once a week but I'll just go with your answer for now, Sehun thought.

"Maybe," Sehun responded, causing the girls to go into a small giggling fit. Sehun and Baekhyun chuckled with them, just until Mr Lee told them to stop giggling since the teacher for their first session will be coming in soon. Both Sehun and Baekhyun stopped chuckling and turned to face the front once again, trying so hard not to chuckle again. Sehun tried so hard not to chuckle that he actually forgot what he was chuckling about. Eventually, he stopped feeling the urge to chuckle, so he was finally able to breathe evenly and normally. Baekhyun however was still trying to stop the urge.

"Mr Baekhyun," Mr Lee stated, staring directly at the student, "Do you need to go outside to take a break?"

"I might need to," Baekhyun responded, as he got up from his seat and walked out of the classroom to catch his breath as well as to stop chuckling. Well, this is a great start to a new school, Sehun thought, as small smile appeared on his face. He hadn't been at this school for even a day, yet, he was feeling accepted and having a good time so far. He was passing extremely well so far, he had already been invited to sit and hang out with Baekhyun and his friends during recess and lunch, took a compliment from a girl despite being gay. And that had just been since he had arrived to the homeroom a few minutes ago. Mr Lee and Mrs Choi were very accepting so far too. His teachers and students at his other school weren't really accepting of him when he first starting to transition. At that school, he was being teased by students, both students and teachers used the 'she/her' pronouns and used his dead name, Hei-ran. He had tried multiple times that his pronouns had changed and so had his name changed, even his mum had shown the teachers and the principal the updated birth certificate but that didn't work. So, that was the main reason why he had moved schools recently. The bullying was becoming too much for Sehun to take and it was becoming ridiculous.

Sehun considered himself lucky that he had moved to a school that was very accepting that he was trans such as using his preferred and now legal name, using the 'he/him/his' pronouns, allowing him to take his weekly testosterone injection on Wednesday during sport and by not outing him to the other students. He smiled a little more at how lucky he was. He looked over at the door as he had spotted two people walking into the classroom, one of them being Baekhyun and the other being a teacher. Mr Lee got up from his chair and walked around the desk, bowing to the teacher that walked into the classroom.

"Good morning, Mrs Kim," Mr Lee greeted, as he bowed, "You do have a new student. His name is Sehun." He then whispered something into Mrs Kim's ear. Sehun knew that Mr Lee was mentioning to the other teacher that he was trans and Sehun was happy that the male teacher wasn't doing it out loud and was doing it in a safe way.

"Ah, ok, thanks for letting me know," Mrs Kim told Mr Lee as he had walked out. Mrs Kim sat down on the chair that Mr Lee had sat down on before, placing her stuff on the desk. Sehun assumed that it was time to start the first session as everyone was getting their school things out. He looked at the school schedule that Mrs Choi had given him and got his pencil case and appropriate school books. It was time to start learning something.