Weak | S.R

Spencer

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The next three nights are unbearable. On Saturday night, my nightmares started up again. It's terribly hard to keep myself from calling or texting her. Knowing that she's just a push of a button away drives me crazy. I can't speak to her, can't see her...

I can't even tell her that I love her and to have sweet dreams before she goes to bed.

My heart aches for the entire weekend.

On Sunday night, I set out to write my letter to her. I don't know what to write, so opt to tell her how much I love her and miss her. I suggest some more places that we can travel, too.

I fold it up into a tiny square and tape it underneath her usual desk before people start to file into the lecture hall.

Allie comes through the door, making eye contact with me before tossing a paper ball into the recycling bin.

The girl looks positively exhausted. The bags under her eyes are dark and she hasn't even opted for makeup today. Usually, she always wears makeup to school and out to town. Her platinum blonde waves are thrown up into a ponytail. She's wearing black overalls with a white t-shirt underneath. To tie everything together, she has my scarf on.

Once she sits down, I see her hands travel to the underside of the desk, peeling the paper off and shoving it into the pocket of her overalls.

Class drags on with me being too distracted by the letter that sits in the blue recycling bin. Once everyone is out, I grab the paper ball out and put it in my bag.

It taunts me all day, but once I'm on the bus home, I give it a read.

Uncrumpling the paper, my eyes land on her handwriting. The mixture of cursive and printing and 'i's dotted with hearts make me miss her even more. My gaze travels to the bottom right corner, landing on a red lipstick kiss mark. A smile takes over my lips and I start to read.

hey, brainiac. i miss you.
this weekend has been miserable without you and a lot has happened. i found myself about to call or text you so many times, but i couldn't and it hurt so bad. especially when i really wanted to share something with you.
i got a call on saturday from a number that i didn't know and i decided to answer it. so, it turns out it was a guy from Fran's who was there during the open mic and his band needs a new vocalist and he wants me to audition and meet with the rest of the band!
so, i'm meeting up with them this saturday before i go to rehearsal.
speaking of rehearsal, i've been running through the script all weekend and i wish that you could run lines with me. you'd be a perfect Roger. you've definitely got the hair
also, i'm pretty upset that i admitted defeat and still got nothing out of it. totally bogus! you should write me something saucy in your next letter.

A laugh escapes my lips when I read that.

maybe if i ever get a chance, I'll finish what you started. rehearsals are gonna be two to three times a week starting next week. things are gonna get even busier than they already were. i miss you a lot. i want to give you hugs and kisses and cuddle with you. if i'm missing you this much after only a couple of days, it's just gonna get worse.
I love you so much. so so so much.
I'll put your next letter in the recycling bin on Wednesday, just so it doesn't look suspicious.
again. I love you!
♡ - your Allie-cat

I smile down at the letter and let out a happy sigh before folding it up and tucking it in my pocket.

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On Wednesday, I fish her letter out of the bin and tape another one under her desk, having written something 'saucy' for her, just like she requested.