gilbert laid in his bed, half asleep. he was thinking about how everyone was out partying or out with friends, while he laid in his bed. he just graduated high school and this is how he repays himself. there was a light summer breeze coming through his open window. he could hear the neighborhood dogs barking, the sound of his neighbor's wind chime, and his screen window opening.
"hello?" the figure wore all black, she took off her hood to reveal red hair. "oh my gosh, anne!" anne shirley-cuthbert. the most popular girl at avonlea high school and the prettiest. once his best friend now a stranger.
he quickly threw his shirt on and stood up. he hasn't talked to his neighbor in forever. nothing happened, she just started dating the biggest dick in school. billy. "w-what are you doing here?"
"i need your help, bud." she sat down on the end of his bed. he turned on his lamp and looked at her. he has had a crush on her since she moved in next door in the 5th grade. "i need your car."
"w-what my car? don't you have your own?" his tired eyes fell onto the clock, 1:47.
"yeah but marillia locked the keys in a safe." she brought her beat up black converse onto the bed and tied her shoe. "i could most definitely crack the code but she got this new dog who hates my guts. so if i go anywhere near the safe, the antichrist will begin to bark at me. so where are the keys?"
gilbert grabbed the key next to his bed and smiled. thinking their business was done. "gil, you are my getaway driver. let's go!" she grabbed his hand and led him towards the window.
"a-anne, i can't do anything illegal. i just got accepted into harvard medical and i'm not trying to screw that up!" she just laughed. laughed at the sight of him freaking out.
"fine, i will only do the 'illegal' things." she threw up quotations. "if we get caught, i'll just say i hijacked the car or kidnapped you. how does that sound?" his stomach was in knots about this but he missed her. missed the way she laughed. missed the way she didn't care.
"fine, let's go before i change my mind." they hopped into his father's beat up station wagon from the 80s. "where to first?"
"the supermarket." they pulled up to the all night grocery store. "two fishes, five cans of spray paint, five packets of saran wrap, and a steering-wheel lock." she hopped into the cart and had gilbert push her around.
"what do you need all of this shit for?" he said grabbing saran wrap.
"well, if you must know, i am being cheated on. with my best friend, may i mention." josie pye and billy andrews. two assholes who do whatever they want. "yeah, i have a master plan but it will not work without these very things. oh shit, sticky notes." she grabbed a pack.
it amazed gilbert how much she didn't care, or showed how much she didn't care. that's the thing about anne shirley-cuthbert. she doesn't care. she sees life as a party she doesn't want to be at. she's been like that since they were 10. while gilbert, he cares about everything way too much. he cares about how people see him, how he acts, etc.
"hurry up and grab the fish! we have to go like right now!" he sped the cart up to the fish and grabbed two. "we are done! onward, my noble steed!" the lady at check out quietly judged them and once they were done she took a sigh of relief. "BYE SUSAN TELL BOB I SAY HELLO!"
she yelled at the cashier. they packed the items into the car and sped off to josie's house. she wrote on the pack of sticky notes, leaving a few letters capitalized her signature move. they got out of the car and hid behind gilbert's car. "he is in there right now. getting his tiny dick wet." he laughed. "first, his car."
they walked to the red sports car. "dumbass never locks his car. hand me the steering wheel lock." he handed it to her and she put it into place, throwing the key somewhere into the grass. "spray paint me." he shook the can and handed it to her. she drew a big blue 'A' on the hood. "your turn." he just shook his head, afraid of the consequences.
"remember in 8th grade when we had that huge dance for graduation?" he nodded, remembering the horrible night. "well, billy told all the girls not to dance with you and..we all listened. get your revenge right now. he has made your life a living hell since the 6th grade. a little penis on his car won't hurt anyone. it'll just show people what he is packing."
and he did. he spray painted a little, blue penis on the hood. "hand me the fish." gilbert said. he opened the car door and put the fish under his seat. and she placed a note on the steering wheel. lOck yOUr cAr nExt tImE, dUmBAss. "what next?"
they looked at the tiny basement window. "her room is right there. they are in the next room over. be quick and quiet." she opened the window and went in. "let's go, blythe."
"nothing illegal, remember? i'll be lookout." she rolled her eyes and went deeper in. he looked around and thought. no one will expect me. so he climbed in. "go wrap her toilet in saran wrap and i'll do my dirty work." he did just that. by the time he was done, there was another huge 'A' on the wall. "i'll throw this fish in the closet and then we leave." they threw it in the closet while she put another sticky note next to the 'A'. hAve fuN fiNDing thE fIsh LikE bilLy'S diCk. and they ran out, not looking back.
they hid behind his car again. he looked down at their blue pinkies and laughed. he intertwined them and smiled. "now, the final step. hand me your phone." she dialed a number and let it ring. someone picked up and she cleared her throat, making her voice deeper. "hello, um yes, your daughter is having sex. it woke my dog up and i just thought you should know." she hung up and looked up. "one." the 3rd floor lights went on. "two." the second story lights went on. "three." the basement lights went on and billy came out of the window where the two had just entered. he was naked and running. he stopped at the car and saw the lock. "hurry take a picture....NOW!" that moment he moved his hands away from his area. "the rhode island of penisis!" they both fell to the floor laughing. "remember this moment and how you feel. remember how great it feels that you saw that! now let's go!"
they drove the car around. anne stuck her head out of the window and let the wind blow her red hair around. she sat back down and looked over at him. "so what do we do now?"
she smiled. "after all that work, i suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol." and they did just that. they stole some of the liquor at gilbert's house and a few beers. they went to their special hiding spot. the park down the street.
"look at mr. goody goody getting drunk!" she slurred her words as gilbert drank some of the vodka. "not so uptight anymore, huh?" she laughed too hard, falling into his arms.
"you are soooooo prettyyy." he smiled at her and she laughed. "ya know, i have liked you since you moved next door? i honestly thought we would end up dating or something but you just ditched me." the two fell silent in their drunken state. "hey, why did you ditch me? i thought we were best friends?"
she took a swig of the vodka. "you have always been better than me. i didn't want to drag you down, gil. if we would have remained friends, you wouldn't be going to harvard. believe me, i am a deadweight. josie and billy caught onto that. i mean this whole stupid town knows it!" she took a sip of beer, trying to drown out her thoughts. "ya know, i did so much shit for those two and this is how they repay me! by sneaking behind my back. gil, it may seem like i don't care but i do. i really do. and i am sorry i left you behind but hey look at us now! two high school graduates drinking at a children's playground at 3 in the morning! god, i am so sorry i dragged you into this. i-"
he kissed her. gilbert kissed anne. his hands cupped her face and deepened the kiss. something he has wanted to do since he saw her riding her roller skates down the street to chase her cat. he would not blame the alcohol on this kiss. it just gave him a push because he was too scared. "anne, i'm done fearing what comes next in life. i am done caring what people think. all i know is that i want to be with you! i've wanted to be with you for seven fucking years! if it takes vandalizing and breaking and entering, i will do it. fuck billy, fuck josie, fuck THIS TOWN! you are not a deadweight! you are the girl i love! i love you, anne." he sobered up in that moment to tell her that.
"i love you too. i am sorry i have been so blind because i want what's best for you." she kissed him again. both tasted like straight alcohol but neither cared. all they cared about was each other.
paper towns<3
