gold & lilacs

XLV

| “you're weird”

I frown when they call me pretty. I laugh when they give me dirty looks. This is the system of misinterpreted words whose true meanings remain sealed behind the crooked smiles. Here the most twisted words have the most beautiful layouts.

“She's too thick.” How is she ever going to fit?
“She's thin as a matchstick.” How is she ever going to protect herself?
“I'm tired.” I don't have time.
“I've got you.” I'm going to ruin you.
“You're pretty.” I can easily get my way with you.
“Trust me.” I'll make sure you never trust anyone again.
“I love you.” I think I do.

This system functions at an irregular pace. Too quick at equating having big breasts to being a slut but too slow at cutting ‘pretty’ from ‘beautiful’.

“You're pretty.” Oh well, I think I am beautiful. Thanks though.

This is the system where you enter the word ‘curves’ and you get the output ‘ugly’ and when you repeat with ‘plastic’, it turns to ‘perfection’.

Tight dress? She's such a whore.
Baggy dress? She's too depressed.
Tough? That man is a wall.
Tears? He's so emotional. He needs to man up.

“Run, run, run.”
“But let me crawl first.”
“Crawl.”
“But I've got wings. I'm ready to fly.”
“Fly.”
“But was it you who cut my wings while I was sound asleep in the apparent safety of your arms?”

Now you see that Alice's Wonderland was not a dream but half reality. Forever sometimes really lasts for only a second. The world is too big and we are too small until we get high, not on liquids and powders, but on our own convictions, and the world shrinks against us.

This is our system. Our society. This is why I frown when they call me pretty and laugh when they give me dirty looks.

This is why I take weird as a compliment.

“really? thanks.” |