Sandstorm {Discontinued}{Rewritten}

Interlude #3

“You can stay with me.”

What the hell?

Dez had no idea where that came from. She hated having people over. It was always messy because she was always too tired to clean. Her house was a mess, and she wasn’t even sure if she had food.

John looked at her with the same surprise she felt. “Are you sure?”

The subway stopped and Dez stood. John stood next to her. “I’m sure,” Dez finally answered. The doors slid opened, and they walked out.

“So, what’s got you down?” John asked.

Dez involuntarily tensed. She had just begun to forget about it.

John noticed. “I don’t mean to pry. I just…sometimes it’s easier to spill your problems with a stranger.”

“Then why don’t you go first?” Dez asked with more harshness than she intended. Why was she like this? Why was she so mean? This man had been nothing but kind to her.

John shrugged. “I just caused my best friend to lose everything. His wife divorced him, and now he can’t even see his daughter. He had a good life. He was the best friend I ever had, and I had to fuck it up just like I do with everyone I meet.” He was emotional now. Tears glittered in his eyes and he wouldn’t look at Dez.

He was ashamed.

“My husband just divorced me,” Dez blurted. “I managed to fuck that up, too. He was perfect. He was literally everything I could’ve asked for in a person, and I had to ruin it with my goddamn depression because I’m a selfish bitch.” She hadn’t meant to say all that. She hadn’t mean to get that emotional. All she knew was that a tightness in her chest had left her, and tears were streaming down her face. John was right. That had helped, even if it was just a little relief.

“Well, Dezzy,” he said. “Looks like we’re both royal fuck-ups with no hope of a better future.”

“Wow, that really helped.”

He chuckled, and that made Dez smile. She hadn’t smiled in weeks. She shouldn’t be smiling now. Guilt began to creep in, and she looked away.

“We’re almost there,” she said, changing the topic. She led them up a driveway, pulled out her keys, and unlocked the door. She stepped inside but was too afraid to turn on the light. She was ashamed of the mess she called a home.

John walked in right after her and immediately felt for a light switch. He searched for it with almost a desperate edge. Was he afraid of the dark?

The lights came on. Dez brushed past the messiness of the entranceway and heard John following her. She led him to the kitchen and turned on the lights. She stopped so suddenly that John ran into her. He mumbled an apology while looking around. Dez winced. Pots, pans, half-opened Ramen packets, utensils, and empty cereal bowls lay atop every clean surface of her kitchen.

“You’re almost as messy as me,” John said. Dez nearly jumped. He was closer than she realized.

She blushed at how close they were and the mess that was her kitchen. “I can’t imagine anything worse than this, so I find that hard to believe.”

He looked down at her. “Don’t even try to outdo me on self-pity, I’d win,” he said with a slight competitive edge.

“Oh, yeah?” Dez countered, not really sure where this courage was coming from. Maybe it was a result of the day she had or the fact that she hadn’t been this close to another man since Darryl. “Because my life is pretty fucked up.”

John raised an eyebrow and took a step even closer. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Neither do you.”