Shrek x Ronald McDonald

Vacation

Ronald and Shrek sat in the airplane, getting ready to fly to Winsconsin. Shrek bounced his leg nervously, since he was never on a plane before, and never this far away from his swamp. Last time he was there, Puss in Boots jumped in the swamp to retrieve Donkey's skeleton, only to drown himself in the process. Shrek felt his arms get goosebumps. Ronald wasn't nervous, he had flown to many places before, the only place he recalled going to was strangely, Cuba. He went there to go play poker with his old pal Barry B. Benson. Barry was a cheat; Ronald couldn't play a game with him where he didn't use any of his old tricks. They both smoked, the gray clouds filling the entire room. There were birds and plants decorating the wallpaper, but it was peeling and the sun made it lose some of its salmon color. Barry won again and got most of Ronald's money, because Ronald was an idiot and bet half of it. The good thing was that Barry died of lung cancer a month or so later. Ronald knew that he deserved it. But deep inside, Ronald knew that he too, someday, would end up with the same fate as Barry.

Ronald came back from his memories. He looked around, and panicked. He whipped his head around to see Shrek beside him, now falling asleep. The plane already started up a minute or two ago. He wasn't nervous about that, though. He needed a Mccigarette. He felt around his pockets. Shirt. Front. Back of shirt (He specially ordered a shirt with a back pocket.). Pants. Front. He found a pack and a lighter. Great, he thought to himself. He lit one up. A person beside them pointed at Ronald. "He has a cigarette!!" Ronald dropped the Mccigarette on the floor of the plane. "Its McCiggarette, you unborn fetus." The floor caught on fire. "Guess I'll die." Ronald said, shrugging. The passengers screamed, while Shrek was sound asleep. The plane began to tip downwards. There was now nothing but fire around Shrek and Ronald. They were ok, and everyone else wasn't. Some people caught on fire. The fiery plane suddenly hit land and everything went dark.

Ronald woke up. He looked around, and saw that the plane around him was nothing but burnt rubble. He heard Shrek groan beside him. "Ugh, me back. What happened?" Ronald pursed his lips. "An asshole lit up a cigarette and lit the whole plane on fire." Shrek blinked. "Oh." Shrek lifted himself up. He put out his hand and lifted up Ronald. "Well, where are we now?" Ronald squinted and saw a sign ahead. "Honolulu." Shrek reached into his pocket and grabbed an onion. He took a big, juicy, bite out of it. "Guessfg we'llhf staygfh heref." Shrek said, chewing the onion at the same time. Ronald thought Shrek looked extra...sexy with that onion. "Let's find a fancy resort to stay in for right now." Ronald remarked. Shrek nodded.

It was a day or two later, and Shrek and Ronald chilled in the resort hot tub. Shrek moved over to Ronald. He slowly inched towards the water jet. He slowly opened his legs and let the jet hit his hot strudel. He closed his eyes and felt it go numb. The pleasure was real. Ronald then touched his shoulder. "I can do a better job than that." Shrek raised his eyebrows. "I can believe that."

"Do the roar," Ronald urged. They tussled around in the bed. "Do it." Ronald gave a good push into Shrek. Shrek let out the biggest roar, bigger than the roar he used on the villagers, biggerer than the roar he used on that good for nothing Farquadd. Ronald smirked. "Good." They went on, almost rolling off the bed multiple times. Other people were worried for the two, since that was the loudest romp in another room that they heard. But Shrek and Ronald didn't care. They just kept on yo-ing.