Secretly Hidden - LSZ x LJY fanfic

Knot

"Jingyi!" Lan Sizhui called as he forcefully opened the door. "Are you okay? What ha – " he said and stopped when he saw Lan Jingyi's just blankly staring at the mirror. "Jingyi...?" he called. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Lan Jingyi slowly turned, then forced a smile. "It's nothing." He said. "I felt like throwing up – " he said, then stopped. He felt like his face went red and he looked at Lan Sizhui. He saw his face is red, too. Lan Jingyi looked away and covered the lower half of his face and stepped back.

Lan Sizhui looked at him. "Jingyi – " he called.

Lan Jingyi lowered his head. "I'm... fine." he said, not daring to look at Lan Sizhui in the eyes. "You... please leave me, for now." he said and turned his back on him. He closed his eyes tight as he felt his belly. He could feel something ticking inside it. A life... is inside me. He thought and smiled.

A tear fell from his eye when he heard the sound of the door closing. I'm sorry... if your father doesn't want you. But, just know that I love you so much...

One month earlier...

"What? Marriage?" Lan Jingyi said after he heard what Lan Xichen said.

"Yes." Lan Xichen said. "You two are old enough to get married." He said.

"But..." Lan Jingyi said, his forehead knotted. Marriage is out of my mind. I just want to go night-hunting! Every night! He frowned at the thought.

"Who will I be marrying to?" Lan Sizhui calmly asked.

"Jingyi." Lan Xichen answered and smiled.

"Hm?" Lan Jingyi said when he heard them call his name. "What about me?" he asked, then looked at them all. They're quiet. Did I... say something wrong? He thought, then looked at Lan Sizhui's expression. "Sizhui. Did they say who will we be marrying?" he asked.

"Yes." Lan Sizhui answered, his face serious.

"Really?" he said, surprised. "Then, who will you be marrying?" he asked.

"You."

"Me? Right. What about me? Who will I be marrying?" he asked.

"Me." Lan Sizhui answered.

Lan Jingyi froze, then his brows raised, surprised. "Are you kidding?" he asked.

"No."

"Then..." Lan Jingyi said, didn't continue as he turned to Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren and the other seniors. "We'll be marrying... each other...?" he asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes." Lan Qiren answered. "Since Xichen and Wangji married people of the other sect – " he said.

"It's 'love', uncle." Lan Xichen cut him off, smiling brightly.

Lan Qiren frowned. "You didn't think of our clan's bloodline!" he said, mad. He turned to Lan Jingyi. "To preserve our bloodline, you two have to marry each other." he said. "I already checked and there's no problem with the two of you – " he said.

"There is." Lan Jingyi said, his face now serious.

"What is?" Lan Qiren asked.

Lan Jingyi raised his head. "As Zewu-jun said." he answered. The moment his voice fell, silence fell upon them all. He is referring to love. Lan Jingyi looked at Lan Xichen, then Lan Qiren. He saw their face is serious, and Lan Qiren looked like he is struggling. "Fine." he said. They all looked at him, however he looked away. His eyes fell on Lan Sizhui. "... you want this?" he asked.

"Yes." Lan Sizhui answered, not daring to look at him.

Lan Jingyi felt his heart broke – not because they are forced, but because Lan Sizhui is forced. He remembers now. He's supposed to distance himself from Lan Sizhui, yet... that just has to happen. He thought, referring to him slipping up that night. He suddenly heard that beautiful melody Lan Sizhui hummed. How I wish... he thought as he closed his eyes, remembering the melody. It was meant for me – he thought and opened his eyes. He looked at them. "We're going to get married." He said, his voice defeated.

"Very well." Lan Qiren said as they all stood up. The damp mood earlier became lighter.

Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi bowed and kept their head lowered as the seniors and Lan Xichen discuss the marriage. After that and they all left, congratulating them two. Lan Xichen was about to go to them two but when he saw them still bowing and silent, he sighed and left.

Silence filled the hall with just the two of them left. After a while, they both raised their head at the same time. "Jingyi." Lan Sizhui called.

"What?" Lan Jingyi asked. Both of them are looking at the crest of their clan.

"... will you regret?" Lan Sizhui asked.

"... no." Lan Jingyi answered. "Will you regret?"

"No." Lan Sizhui answered.

Lan Jingyi opened his mouth to speak again, yet no words come out. He wanted to ask Lan Sizhui what would Jin Ling say when he heard about their marriage. But, he felt like he can't ask him. Why? Because he realized he'll be hurt. After all, he's in love with his best friend. All along, he knew. Yet, like his fear he pushed the thought at the back of his head. He knew, Lan Sizhui only agreed to marry him because of his gratitude to the Lan clan – especially Lan Wangji. How about me? He thought. He wanted to say he's doing this for his duty as a direct descendant. However, he knows it isn't it. He loves him. He wanted Lan Sizhui all for himself. However, it won't happen. "... I'm sorry." he said as he closed his eyes. He didn't wait for him to answer and he left.

"Jingyi - !" Lan Sizhui called, yet he didn't respond.

"... I'm sorry – " he cried.

"Jingyi!"

He gasped and opened his eyes when he felt two strong arms hugged him from behind. "You – " he said and was about to turn, but the hug tightened. "Sizhui..." he called. He thought Lan Sizhui left earlier.

"Jingyi – " Lan Sizhui called as he kissed the back of his head. " – I'm really sorry... if I did something to hurt you again – " he said and hugged him tight, burying his face on Lan Jingyi's hair, smelling it.

"What are you doing?" Lan Jingyi asked, his voice stern. He tried to remove Lan Sizhui's arms wrapped around him, but since he is weak right now, he failed. "Let go of me." he told him, feeling his heart beating fast yet he's suppressing it.

"No." Lan Sizhui answered.

"Let go – "

"I won't!" Lan Sizhui answered. "Not again... I won't... never ever..." he said.

Lan Jingyi was about to speak when he heard a sob. His forehead knotted. Did I cry again? he thought, but remembered he already wiped his tears earlier before Lan Sizhui could break the door.

Then... the one crying – "Jingyi..." Lan Sizhui sobbed. "A-Yi..."

Lan Jingyi's eyes went wide. He wanted to turn to face him yet Lan Sizhui's holding him tight. "Sizhui – "

"I love you, A-Yi." He said.

(A/N: Mah heart!!! I just noticed, these two... they're like LXC and JC? XDXDXD)