Spirits

Chapter 2

Remembering back, I thought of the times where life was simple. No worries, no responsibility just to live carefree. Childhood that is, a time where you only live in the moment. Your fears are as small as a shadow in your room, playing tricks on you in the moonlight. At that time I had my parents to run to, but as I look back on the memories a shroud of darkness cloaks over me. The tears well up in my eyes when I think about the accident. The accident that changed my life forever. I remember it so vividly, goosebumps start to envelop my whole body. It was just a regular spring day. The birds were chirping a sweet melody, the sun beamed making the dew in the grass sparkle, and not a cloud in the sky.

"Lena bo bena, it's time to hit the road!" 

I heard my father calling my name, announcing that the time had come for us to leave. Looking up into the sky I noticed a cloud quite different from the others. In my young mind I even thought it to look quite strange, but I paid no mind. The cloud took form of a face, contorted and almost monster like, but again I was a child. I brushed it off without even thinking. I was ten, most kids would just let something like that go, but for whatever reason I can still see it in my mind today. It was a sinister face, almost smiling down in a most villainous way. It was as if it knew the grisly events to unfold that day. I ran up to my father leaping up into his arms as my mother loaded the rest of our luggage into the back of the van. His smile lit up my whole world, without it my life was dark. As my mom finished up she came over and he kissed her gently on the forehead.

I looked into both of their eyes, truly feeling like the luckiest kid in the world. My mother was everything and more, she reminded me of a lioness. Fiery, protective and the most loving woman I had ever known. She scooped me from his arms and said,

"Now don't forget the cooler, it's a long drive and I've packed our princess her favorite." She smiled that intoxicating smile and whispered,

"Peanut butter sandwich with just a pinch of sprinkles for my beautiful girl."

My eyes lit up and I squeezed her tight, never wanting to let go. I still remember the way she smelled, like fresh rain and honeysuckle. That smell is something that always brings tears to my eyes and I hope never to forget it. My dad chuckled and went back into the house, grabbing the cooler. Loading it into the back of the van he looked into my mother's eyes, with the longingful look of unconditional love.

"I almost forgot, we need one more thing and we will be ready to go."

He runs back in and enthusiastically saunters out with a bottle. Which as I've gotten older and as I've seen in the photos from the accident, have found out that it was a bottle of wine. The last bottle of wine from their wedding, which to this day breaks me down. My mom buckles me in to my car seat and says,

"This will be the best vacation ever my Lena bo bena, trust me."

She flashes her delightful smile and gives me a kiss on the forehead. Car rides were always hard for me. As I'm sure every other child can relate to, motion sickness got to me every time. She handed me my dramamine and bottle of juice. I chugged it down and grabbed my stuffed elephant saying,

"Ready to go, let our adventure begin!"

My parents both beamed at me in excitement for our adventure. Our cabin up in the mountains, beautiful and serene. This was something we didn't get to do often as both my parents worked so hard. So moments like these were always something to cherish and never take for granted.

We started down the two lane highway, listening to "Dreams," by Fleetwood Mac. As I slowly drifted to sleep, I heard Stevie's voice linger and sing...

"In the stillness of remembering what you had, and what you lost, what you had, and what you lost, thunder only happens when it's raining, players only love you when they're playing..."

My eyes were so heavy, the effects of the dramamine making it harder and harder to stay awake. The last memory I have of my parents is my father reaching out to hold my mother's hand. Both of them smiling and singing along to the song, and then it all goes black. The next memory I have is one I've tried so hard to obliterate from my mind. The horror and sheer terror I've tried to extinguish from my psyche.

"HEY WE'VE GOT A YOUNG GIRL BACK HERE, GRAB THE JAWS NOW!!"

I vaguely remember waking up, only to realize something had gone awry. I was upside down, seat belt crushing me, the smell of copper and gasoline penetrating my nostrils. Smoke blinding me, my vision was stifled. I did the only thing a child my age would even think of, I started to wail. I could feel the car moving ever so slightly and my stomach dropping giving me the most uneasy feeling. The window to the left of me shattered and the smoke started to creep through making my vision less impaired. I wish I would've still be out from the dramamine, as the scene I am about to describe is one I wish would completely be erased from my mind. I looked forward only to see my parent's mangled and bloody. Twisted in a way I couldn't imagine ever being possible. They were almost unrecognizable, and in between them was my stuffed elephant. Covered in their blood, doused in gasoline, and pieces of shattered glass stuck into its fur.

"WE NEED TO MOVE FAST THIS CAR IS EDGING OFF BY THE SECOND!!!"

The yells of the first responders snapped me back into reality. I saw arms reaching into the rear window, attempting to grab me. The car made a sickening groan and more yells followed. I felt the release of pressure as my car seat belt was cut. As I was being pulled out of the van, I started to kick and scream. Screaming for my parents, I needed them.

They needed to be saved, they were all I had. As the first responder pulled me out from the car I started to get ahold of my surroundings. There were black skid marks in the road, our van was flipped over and barely holding on to the edge of a cliff. The guard rail hanging only by a thread. The van was teetering back and forth ever so slowly... the gravel dropping and the earth was beginning to shift. It happened so fast that in an instant the van slid down and off the cliff. It made the most sickening crash as it slid down into the abyss of pines below. I howled in pain and tears streamed down my face. I clawed and hit the responder trying desperately to break free, to save my parents. I was only ten, I didn't even begin to think it was too late. Now as I look back to the photos I feel my whole body shudder. The one photo that haunts me the most is the photo of the shattered wine bottle on the road... the only piece held intact. My parent's names and their wedding date. Saturated in their blood, stained and destroyed. My stuffed elephant laying next to it, the one they bought for me the day I was born. To this day I keep it in the box in the cellar, still tarnished as much as I've tried to get the stains out. Defiled just like that memory, which will always haunt my mind.