Romeo and Juliet (Book 1) - SS x OC

Chapter 26 - All for you

"Oh... well, thank you."

After dressing up, Severus took the opportunity to persuade Renee to ingest some food and was glad that there had been slight improvements. She could now eat by herself and her throat was not as sore anymore, although she was still coughing like a troll and her body temperature has not returned to its normal state.

"Do you think you can manage to accomplish some schoolwork tomorrow? Heaven forbid that I mean to pressure you," Severus shuffled some parchments that lay atop a spare desk. "but you are quite behind your lessons."

"I suppose I should start today--"

"No. You'll only gain a migraine from trying to read through these. It's best that you recover first before attending to your tasks."

"Okay."

"If you would like me to bring you some books from the library, I may obtain them for you. Just provide me a list tomorrow. I need to ask Madam Pince to--"

"Why, Severus?"

"I assumed you would need them for the essays that you're about to-"

"No, I mean why did you say those things about me? I really don't know what to believe. I want to be convinced that all of those weren't true but I... I'm sorry," Renee covered her eyes, bowing down. "You haven't got an iota of idea how much your words hurt me."

Rarely has Severus been rendered speechless before; he usually comes up with well-kept spiteful remarks, sometimes uttered, sometimes buried in his core, to anyone who dares to question the purposes of his actions. But this time, he cannot think of anything that would justify the bloody things that came out of his filthy mouth.

Remembering the fateful day when Severus decided that he wanted Renee out of his life once and for all, regret filled his entire disposition, causing him to immediately hold her hand.

"That's hardly answerable, to be honest..." Severus trailed off.

Renee, who was sitting agitatedly on her bed, accepted the man's hand and caressed its back with her thumb. "I've already told you this, but I'm going to say it again. I really don't want anything from you. I don't want anything to happen. I just--" she breathed deeply, her grasp on him tightening. "I know you can never reciprocate whatever it is that I have for you. You and I both know how I feel about... about this... about you. I just wish that you could have told me sooner that you--"

Severus surprised the young lady by briskly letting go of her hold after hearing her last sentence. "I plead for you not to continue that sentence anymore, Renee. You may not be convinced that those were lies but I refuse to hear them being brought to scrutiny when I've already falsified them. In fact, I'm not even sure why I keep on bothering to explain things to you when you clearly have no intention to listen."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I wasn't told that I'm not allowed to bring them up!" Renee cried, her timely tears just about to leave her eyes. "Go away, then! You're right, you shouldn't bother with anything."

Severus stood up from the stool and started to pace slowly, both of his hands resting in the pockets of his trousers.

"I don't know what the bloody hell came up to me when I decided to look for you the day after you showed me your Siren form. My fucking mind kept on telling me to go looking for you. Ask how you were doing, you know, just as any other fucking man who cares more than what is appropriate would. I suppose it was my own fault-- how fucking unfortunate of me to find you in a situation that I undeniably have no business of."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, incredibly confused.

"Don't mock me, Renee. I'm providing you the truth, which is what you wanted, am I bloody right?"