Eren: Well I guess you gotta do what you gotta do
(F/N): FOOTLONG!
Eren: What? That too...?
(F/N): You're fucked, Jaeger
Eren: Actually I think you are
Eren: lol
Eren:
Eren: (F/N)?
Eren: ?
Eren: Shit
_______________________________________
(F/N): Bertoldt, are you awake?
Bertoldt: Yeah
(F/N): Can you get me McDonalds?
Bertoldt: Seen 12.45
(F/N): You're ugly
_______________________________________
(F/N): I can be sophisticated
(F/N): Just last week I bought a vegetable
_______________________________________
Mikasa: Compliment me
(F/N): You have eyes
Mikasa: OMG rlly! Thanks! xxxxx
_______________________________________
(F/N): CAPTAIN!!
(F/N): There's this big ass spider outside my door
(F/N): Please kill it
Levi: Levi is dead, and I'm coming for you, Love Spider
_______________________________________
(F/N): The opposite of office is onfire
Eren: What did you do?
_______________________________________
Levi: Hey, (F/N)
(F/N): Sorry, I have a captain
Levi: Yes, it's me you idiot
_______________________________________
(F/N): Love is trash. B***hes need cash - Gandhi
Armin: DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!
_______________________________________
(F/N): Have you noticed crabs are just frogs with body armour?
Jean: It's fucking 4 o'clock in the morning!
(F/N): Jean, don't shout. It's 4 in the morning
_______________________________________
Connie: Why does Mario do a pole dance at the end of every course?
(F/N): Do you want to go pole dancing, Connie?
Connie: Well, if you insist.
_______________________________________
(F/N): Knock Knock
Jean: Who's there?
(F/N): Doctor
Jean: Really...
Jean: Doctor who?
(F/N): I'm Dr Chang from your local GP. Jean, I'm afraid you broke your leg when you fell for it.
_______________________________________
Connie: Was Reiner really so bad?
(F/N): Well, he destroyed Shinganshina
(F/N): And then, he did some evil stuff
Connie: Damn, you're right
_______________________________________
(F/N): Sorry ladies, but you are leeches. Nowadays, you take our money, which I suppose is a bit better than taking our ribs.
Armin: Was that a Bible joke?
(F/N): *Laughs in Christian*
_______________________________________
(F/N): Levi took the wheels off my Heelys
(F/N): I'm fuming!
(F/N): MEGA MEGA FUMING!
_______________________________________
(F/N): You're wrong. The most popular prosthetic limb is the dildo
Mikasa: What!? 0o0
(F/N): Sorry, wrong number
(F/N): Actually, could you help me win an argument?
_______________________________________
Jean: So you're telling me that it wasn't Reiner, Bertoldt, and Annie who attacked us?
(F/N): Yep
Jean: The who did it?
(F/N): ...Megan
_______________________________________
(F/N): I should leave the Survey Corps to become a comedian
Connie: We're your material though
_______________________________________
Levi: Bring me some tequila
(F/N): It's 7am
Levi: And some toast
_______________________________________
(F/N): 'Forgive me father for I have sinned' and 'Sorry daddy I've been naughty' both mean similar things but are both very different
Armin: I don't get it
(F/N): Yeah, you wouldn't
_______________________________________
Jean: My neighbours pissing me off. I want to learn the trumpet so I can annoy him
(F/N): Why learn it? You don't have to play it right to annoy him
Jean: You see this? This is why we're friends
_______________________________________
(F/N): The amount of times I've sexual stroked my wall to find my light switch is ridiculous
Connie: Stop it, you're turning me on
_______________________________________
(F/N): Hey, did it hurt?
Krista: When I fell from Heaven? xxx
(F/N): No? When your gear malfunctioned and you fell from the trees
Krista: Oh...
(F/N): Heaven? wtf
_______________________________________
Eren: Honey?
(F/N): Yeah babe?
Eren: ...
(F/N): ...
Eren: ...Where do we go from here?
_______________________________________
And there we go. Now, you may be thinking, 'Hey Drift1607, did you just release two chapters in the same month?' Yeah....nuff said.
I tend to write this ones from time to time but I always say, if you have any requests, private message me and I'll see what I can do.
YOU ARE READING
Attack on Titan: Reader X Texting
FanfictionAn x Reader book about yourself and the characters texting each other stupid jokes and annoying one another. Most Impressive Rankings: #1 Kristalenz #1 Marcobolt #1 Bertoldthoover Date: 16th April 2016 Written by Drift1607
Texting 8: I'm Tired Of This Bohemian Blasphemy, Horse-Face!
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