Neverland Rebel

Chapter Ten

I'm swimming at the edge of a pitch-black sea. Wave after wave of darkness is crashing over me. The shadowy water surrounds me, except for a pale edge of sand at the very end of my vision. I try to swim to the beach, slicing through the inky waves. Stroke after stroke, until I can feel the ground beneath my feet. The water shrinks to my shoulders, then my hips, then my knees, and washes away from my ankles. I move my feet to step on the sand, and my eyes fly open with a shudder.

Pan made me fall asleep again? He keeps doing it. He's trying to control me, I know that much, but why? I didn't ask to be here. I see the familiar bars of the cage and curl my legs closer to the rest of my body. It appears to be a little bit before dawn, and the only sounds I hear are the chirping of the birds and rustling of the trees. I feel used. I was actually happy, for a moment, when I was running away from the Lost Boys. Even Pan was happy then, he pronounced me a Lost Girl and let me talk to people at camp before yelling at me and hiding me away again. Why am I here?

I feel the outline of Pan's knife in my pocket and take it out, watching the faint starlight reflect off of the gleaming metal. I want to walk around, but I'm hesitant to cut open yet another cage. I feel detached, and I don't really care what will happen to me, so I reach over and pick the lock with the knife. So what if he gets mad? It'll just be another day. My feet hit the ground with a light thud, and I leave the cage swinging behind me. I let myself walk in a mindless direction, glad to feel the wind on my face. It's a pretty island, even I have to admit that. If it weren't for Pan, I might even be enjoying myself. I steer clear of the camp, making sure I'm not spotted, and head on a path I haven't really seen before. My feet trace patterns in the grass, and I wind in and out of the trees before approaching a large cliff. The soil changes to rock at the end of the cliff, so I sit down and let my feet swing over the edge. A dull murmur in the back of my head tells me this is a bad idea, that I might get caught, or the edge of the cliff could fall away, but what do I care. There's nothing here for me.

I watch the tides crash against the rocks far below me. The sun is steadily coming up, washing the area with a golden glow. I take in a deep breath, feeling my spirits rise a little. Unfortunately, I sense the vibrations of footsteps coming up behind me, and ready myself for whatever storm Pan is bringing. However, all I see is Felix, his second in command. Felix nods to me. "So, you got out of your cage?" He questions, although he already knows the answer.

"Are you here to lock me back up again?" I sigh, not wanting to leave the cliff. He only smiles and goes to sit next to me. "No, although I probably should." I look at him, surprised, and ask, "Why not? Isn't that what he would want?" Felix nods. "It is, but I know the look on your face. That's the look of somebody who feels they don't belong. I've been there too, and the last thing you need is to be locked up again." That surprised me. It turns out Felix is actually an interesting guy. "Thank-thank you. It's just- when Pan said that this was a place for the lost, I thought it would be a place I was wanted. Now that he keeps pushing me away and putting me in a cage, it's clear I was wrong. The only problem is, he won't let me do anything to prove that I can actually do things. It's like the only option he sees is to lock me away."

Felix looks at me. "It's ok. No matter what he thinks, the other Lost Boys and I are still happy to have you here. You seem like you'd make a good Lost Girl." He gestures to the expanse in front of us. "It's a good view, isn't it? When I first arrived, I wasn't too sure if I'd like it here or not. That view right there? It changed my mind. I hope it can change your view, too." He stood up, brushing some dirt off of his clothes. "However, I do have something for you." He hands me a pile of brown clothes, just like the ones that the Lost Boys wore. "Seeing as you're a Lost Girl now, you have to look the part." I smile up at him and take the clothes. "Thanks, Felix. For being okay with all this." He nods, and we head back into the forest. He shows me a spring where I can wash off and change, and leaves me so he can deal with other business. I'm glad he was there, it's a lot better to have a friend on the island. It also feels good to get the dirt out of my hair and skin, and I change into the new clothes once I finish washing off. Surprisingly, they fit, and are pretty comfortable. I strap Pan's dagger to my belt and my penknife to the inside of my boot, and head out to start the day.