The Bad Boys

Chapter 8 - 'It's like i'm unconcious'

I guess it's their turn to do the ignoring then. I'm so confused and kind of hurt. It's Monday and I've already seen them twice.

They turn up on Friday and practically beg to come hang at mine, then I get annoyed for them eating MY food and then they leave.

Well sorry if I don't like people randomly taking my stuff without asking. I mean I'm not even that mad about the icecream because they all could of had some it's mainly because they just took.

With my earphones in playing some SayWeCanFly I hum along and walk down the corridor.

Whispers float around me but the melody is too beautiful so I ignore them.

Going to my locker I exchange books my mind floats back to how they saw me, looked at me in almost disgust and turned the other way. How DJ was sat in his place until I entered the classroom, that's right he just moved. After glaring at me of course.

It really did crush me. It's like a replay of my old school. But this is minus the bullying.

I look at myself in the little mirror of my locker. I take my hair and put it in a ponytail pulling down lots of fringe to hide my face. That's when, in the reflection, I see Jordan. leaving against the lockers opposite me looking at his phone before occasionally glancing around.

He looks up and his eyes land on the mirror I give him a sad smile and he just looks. Then I remember when he kept tickling me. He wanted me to say some vulgar stuff but I refused.

Blushing slightly I look away but curiosity fills me and I look back to see him smiling at me. Not a big smile, a small one. But it's still a smile.

Suddenly Austin and DJ turn up, they do the man shake thing. And noticing Jordan's line of sight, they look my way.

I close my locker and turn round. It's Austin whispering to Jordan, but he looks like he's yelling at him. They all turn to leave but Jordan sends me one sad glance.

I didn't know Austin hated me that much. My eyes prick slightly but nothing happens. Putting a second earphone in i head to the bleachers outside.

Sitting and pulling out my art book and a pencil i let all thoughts flow into the paper.

My pencil strokes getting deeper as the shading gets darker. Taking a moment and stepping out of my zone. I look at my art.

A large 3D gun shooting towards me. the guns on an angle and looks like it's about to come out the page.

The bullet engraved with tribal patterns and the smoke coming out the barrel of the handgun.

On the handle of the gun in cursive writing I've put:

'Rejection hurts more than any bullet wound'

Dramatic I know but it's true. maybe my situation right now isn't as intense but this links too my old school, life at home and now.

Scanning for anything specifically bad I quickly add curve to the bullet and thicken the rose in the background.

I love the idea of drawing. It's a way to present your feelings without words. It's a way to hide secret messages through your pictures and it's a personal freedom of mine. The way I can draw whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want.

Whenever I do draw everything around me disappears and my imagination takes control, some times in so in my zone I forget that I've drawn certain parts. It's like I'm unconscious.

It's just me the paper and a pencil. That is when I feel serenity.

Ripping the page out I casually sign the bottom of the page and after putting today's date on it I put it in a folder.