Alison POV.
The girls hate me. I don't deserve Emily. Hell, I don't deserve anybody. I think to myself as I run out of the bathroom crying. This school, these people, this town it was suffocating me. I bump into multiple people while I run out of the school and down the street. Slowing down I try to stop the tears from falling but fail epically. Where am I even going? I question myself. My direction is headed towards my house so I continue to go towards my house because this feeling I have, is one I'm familiar with. It's the feeling of drowning and not being able to breath through all of the self-hate. As if somebody is dunking my head over and over again and just when I think its done, I am pushed back under water. This viscous cycle is exhausting. I continue maintaining my pace and after 10 minutes I'm home. I take off my jacket I was wearing and shoes while slowly walking upstairs. I reach my room and immediately go into my desk because that blade that kept me afloat for so long is there inside the sharpener. I rapidly attempt to break it but it just wouldn't budge. Growling I attempt again and feel the mechanism slowly start to break. I begin to hit it and that is when Em semi-walked, semi-stormed into find me in the process of breaking her promise. She gasps before quickly walking up to me and tilting me head up to look at her.
"Ali, I know what you're thinking but you can't ok. You are so much stronger then that..." She whispers to me while carefully prying the sharpener out of my hands. She puts it into her pocket before resuming the position we had whilst in the bathroom. I realize the tears still haven't stopped since the bathroom and for once, I don't care about it. Crying isn't a weakness, I now see that it actually shows strength. Emily's hug envelopes me and I cry without regret for the first time in my life.
"It is all gonna be ok Ali. I'm right here babe. You're going to be ok, I promise." Em says as she pulls away slightly to look at my face. My sobs have stopped by this point and it has just become a soft, silent cry. Like the one's you see in movies where the guy loses the girl. Em leans in and whispers in my ear, "I love you Alison DiLaurentis." And she wipes away my last few tears with her thumb. I pull away fully and go sit on my bed, looking at Emily. This crash of regret rushes through my body and I lower my gaze away from her brown eye's. I almost broke my promise to her about staying clean and for what! Because some people who hate me stated their opinion to my girlfriend. Stupid, stupid I think to myself. She probably ha- my thoughts are derailed when I feel a dip in the bed and a hand on my shoulder. Keeping my gaze locked to the ground, I say, "You don't deserve all this baggage that comes with me. I'm not worth it. I am the devil pretty much like Hanna said."
"Alison we have been over this, I am with you through everything. Every bump in the road, I'm gonna be here for you. You are worth it and I love you. Screw Hanna's opinion because to me your are like a angel." Emily says staring at me till I finally look at her.
"You really think so?" I question because nobody has ever said anything like that to me. Not my parents, not my brother, not my friends, nobody.
"I don't think so," she says pausing and I begin to worry, "I know so." She finishes. I quickly turn to her and kiss her. It starts slow but picks up pace quickly. We pull apart simultaneously and smile.
"Wow." Emily states quietly, touching her lips.
"That good eh!" I smirk back at her and Em blushes.
"So what's the plan for tonight?" She asks, breaking the long comfortable silence we were surrounded by.
"What do you want to do and then let's do that!" I exclaim.
"How about since today has been a long day already and it's only 2:06, we watch a couple movies and hang out."
"Sounds like a plan to me." I tell her before getting up and going to my closet.
"What are you doing?" She asks.
"I'm grabbing my Hollister sweat-pants and a baggy T-shirt." I reply and begin to change facing away from Emily. I may have become more comfortable around her but I still don't like the way I look. As if she can read my mind, Em gets up and walks towards me. She wraps her arms around my waist and I squirm. She kisses my neck softly and then rests her head on my shoulder.
"You are beautiful Ali. Don't hide from me ok?" She whispers, halting myself from getting dressed. Em pulls away and I turn around continuing to put on my sweat-pants but this time facing her slightly. Once I'm finished getting dressed I lay back and flip to Netflix on the TV. Em gets changed and sits on the bed beside me. She looks back at me and smiles before lays down on the bed with her head ontop of my torso. We decide to watch finding nemo because Ellen plays dory and because finding nemo is by far our favorite animated movie. Half way through Em pauses the movie.
"Do you want some popcorn?" She asks what is weird because I asked her at the beginning if she wanted any.
"Umm sure. You Want some help?" I ask suspiciously.
"Nah I'm fine." She replys and walks downstairs. I notice she slips her phone into her back pocket when she leaves. Sighing I stare at the walls waiting for her to come back upstairs. After about 3 minutes I hear to microwave beep, saying the popcorn is done and shortly after Emily comes back upstairs.
"Here you go." She states and lays back down resuming the movie. Without thinking anymore into it we decide to watch movies for the rest of the day.
