Ganito Kami Mag-Move On: A Collection of ADNBookClub Writing Contest Entries

17. Three Years

by Anonymous

It's been 3 years since she left and so much has happened in that time. Project upon project - movies, tv series, album, endorsements, hosting. With all the projects also came the awards, the accolades, the fans.

Professionally he could not ask for anything more, the blessings are overflowing.

Personally, he is running on empty.

From his vantage on the sun lounger he is reclining on by the pool, he surveys his house. The dream house they had designed together. The dream house for his dream girl finally completed 11 months after she left.

The sound of his doorbell interrupted his quiet time. He doesn't entertain visitors in this house so whoever is on the door would either just be someone from his family or from his team. But they knew better than to bother him when he's already home without so much as a text message, and so he thought of ignoring it.

But it rang again. And again. And again..

Taking a last sip of his wine, he got up and padded towards the front door, the lines on his brows deepening with irritation.

He grabbed hold of the door handle and pulled it with force, acerbic words ready to be unleashed on whoever is behind the door. But upon opening the door he had to let his eyes travel down, down, down...until it stopped on a small child in blue jumpers, thumb in mouth, Donald Duck clutched in one hand, chocolate eyes looking up at him.

He felt his earlier irritation leave his system. "Hello, little boy" he said stepping outside the threshold.

The boy took his thumb out of his mouth and smiled timidly at him.

And at that very moment his world stopped. He cannot be mistaken. This child, a dimple on his left cheek, is his. His heart is telling him so.

He crouched on one knee in front of the child and said, "Hi, I'm RJ." His eyes devoured the child, from the hair on top of his head, to the tips of his rubber shoes peppered with small lightning bolts. "What is your name?"

My name is Sigfeed Jay Fonkensern," the child answered, his young intelligent eyes looking intently at RJ. Are you my daddy he asked.

He couldnt muster his voice to respond, his chest felt too constricted. His heart thundering. It took all his strength not to grab the boy, crush him in his embrace and never let go, for fear of terrifying the child. YES he simply said and opened his arms wide, inviting the kid for a hug.

Sij ran into his fathers arms without hesitation. And at that point RJ couldnt hold back his tears so he let go of his control. Three years of anguish being washed away. Three years of emptiness. A void which in an instant this child in his arms has filled.

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Sij, theres someone were meeting later ok, Dei said dressing her son in his favorite blue jumpers. Remember what I told you before we rode the airplane? That were going to see your Daddy?

My Daddy, Momma? Were going to my Daddy?

Yes nak, were going to see Daddy later. Is that ok?

Yes Momma. We eat at McDonalds like Hawwy and Tito James? And pway with the bike too?"

The question took Dei by surprise that she could not respond immediately. Sij never said anything about not having a father that she thought his grandpa and uncles were enough father figure for him. To hear him say that squeezed at her heart and weighed down on her guilt.

We can ask your Daddy to go at McDonalds later if you promise to be a good boy.

I pwamis Momma Sij solemnly answered.

She drove them to Montecito where she knows RJ now lives. Montecito was where they were going to build their family, their haven, their sanctuary. She wonders if he pushed through with their plans.

She parked 2 houses down and walked carrying Sij the rest of the way. She paused in front of the house and took it all in. It was just as they have planned it and it pains her to think of the three years she spent away. But she has found her way back, with her son. No, their son. Dei could only pray that RJ would not turn them away, give her a chance to explain.

There are lights inside the house so she knew someone is in residence. She put her son down, took his hand and walked towards the front door.

Sij, I want you to stand here and wait until Daddy comes ok she said, positioning Sij in front of the door. I will just be there on the side pointing at a spot to the side.

The time has finally come. She straightened her back and faced the door. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, centering herself. Then she took the final steps and reached out to press the doorbell. Listening intently for the sound of footsteps, she pressed it again when she heard none. And again... and just when she was about to give up, she heard it. Someone is coming to open the door. She looked back at Sij, smiling her encouragement even as she herself is shaking with nerves. Then she stepped to side where she can keep an eye on both Sij and the door.

"Hello, little boy" she heard. She closed her eyes upon hearing his voice. For three years she has not heard that voice directly speak to her. And so she savored it, let it wash over her, seep into her being.

"Hi, I'm RJ" the voice continued. She opened her eyes and saw RJ crouched in front of his son. The first time he has ever laid eyes on Sij. Tears start falling from her eyes. Im sorry, Im sorry running in her mind.

"What is your name" asked RJ, his voice thick with emotion. She tried containing the sound of her sobs, muffling it with her hands. But it was unnecessary. RJ was so focused on his son to the exclusion of anything else.

She heard Sij ask Are you my daddy? and saw RJ open his arms to welcome his son. The first embrace between father and child. She nearly buckled after that, tears running faster, her sobs much louder.

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As the world slowly assert itself on RJ's conciousness, he became aware of the sound of sobbing. Arms around his son he looked towards the sound and saw her.

His life. His death. His reason. His ruin. Dei.

They locked eyes, looking their fill. Assuring themselves that this is neither a dream nor a vision.

As always, he still cannot bear see her in tears.

Dei. It was the first word he directed at her. Her name.

Hearing that she further broke down. Caving from the weight of the emotions she has been feeling, she fell on her knees to the ground sobbing. "I'm sorry" an unbroken litany on her lips.

"Dei" he called again. Sij was silently watching his parents, intuitively knowing that something momentous is about to take place.

She forced herself to take control of her emotions. When she felt she was calm enough to face him, she slowly raised her head.

She saw RJ reach out his hand towards her and she met his hand halfway. Grasping it hard. Palm to palm, soul to soul. Letting their eyes speak the wods the lips could not.

And the healing has begun.

-The end-

Sij /sēj/