just pretend

.13

"A dirty habit," I mutter.

"Yes charcoal can be messy," he says without looking up at me and knowing exactly what I was referring to, not the drawing.

So badly I just want to grab the cigarette and throw it in the water. How can he just rot away his lungs like that? Why does it bother me more then it does him?

I want to just pretend that I don't have anywhere to go back to. No life at home with a girlfriend and parents who expect the world from me. That I'm just up here with the trees and also.

"What time do we go back?" He asks.

"I don't want to think about home. Can we just pretend that we don't have lives back there."

"We can do that."

Silence follows.

He's quiet and all I can hear is the soft sound of the waves and his pencil on the paper. Actually I think it was charcoal or something he was using.

He re adjusts himself so that he's leaning against this rock and his pad is propped up against his thighs. He's now facing me on my left while I lay with my eyes closed. I can feel the sun on my right leg but it's mainly shady from all the trees.

Everything is so peaceful down here. Nobody's around and it's just the sounds of the birds and water. And in my case the sound of Leo sketching but I don't want to leave.

It's summer and none of us need to go back. Technically we don't have too. I like not being home where there's parents waking me up before they go to work and nagging me about eating properly. Then the second dad gets home it's riding practice. I don't know how he keeps going, I get tired from laying around all day.

"I think we should stay," I say.

"What?" He looks up and surprisingly the sun hits his face. Half his face looks to be blinded by the sun, not that it matters because he never moves the hair out of his eyes anyway.

"Everyone drove up separately and I drive you and Keanu up. We don't have to leave. Ugh I do not want to go back home. I like no parents."

He shrugs and goes back to drawing. "Whenever dad pisses me off I go to Elle's garage or something."

"I wish I could just get up and leave."

"You have a car. In a way you have more freedom then me."

I close my eyes again and just lay. I never want summer to end.

"I don't have anywhere to go besides yours and Keanu's house and I'm sure your parents wouldn't appreciate that."

"They don't pay too much attention. Half the time they don't know I'm home."

I can hear the motor from the boat off in the distance. When I prop myself up on my elbows I can see them far off. "Great," I groan. "I'm heavily considering telling them we're leaving so they leave and then coming back down to this dock to sleep."

When the boat pulls up I don't move to help Keanu tie it. I'm too lazy and enjoying laying down. I hear them all chatting and I want to plug my ears. I'm tired. The summer sun always makes me sleepy I want to bask in the sunlight not fucking socialize.

"Andrew," Julian says. I open my eyes. "What time we leaving?"

"Twenty minutes," I mutter without lifting my head. I hear Leo quietly snort.

"What?" Keanu says from the boat.

"Yes. Twenty minutes so go get ready."

They all rush up the stairs and I can hear Leo quietly snickering next to me. "You're not leaving are you?"