If Walls Could Talk

Chapter Fifty

"It's okay to feel, Louis. It's okay to want more." Mrs Carter moved closer to Louis, though still kept some distance between them. Louis didn't move. He just kept looking down at his teacher as she continued to speak, "You went through what no kid should have to go through. You suffered a loss no child should have to suffer."

Louis felt himself shudder at the words, though he didn't let it show as he continued to look at Mrs Carter. Although, at this moment, she didn't seem like a teacher anymore. She became what Louis used to see her as—a family friend.

"I loved your mother like a sister. All throughout high school, we were never apart. Even your father gave up trying to get your mother alone." Mrs Carter let out another chuckle before continuing, "I remember being at the hospital when you were born and seeing the excitement on your parents' faces. The happiness they had radiated around them. Wherever they went, it seemed to engulf everything."

Louis felt his eyes sting, and though he tried his best to keep the tears from falling, he was failing, and as they fell, he dropped his head and looked at the floor.

"Louis, it's okay to feel. It's okay to be sad," Mrs Carter continued, and Louis could hear that she was struggling to keep herself together.

"You've been fighting to keep your emotions in for so long that it's caused you to see only the bad things in life. But that monologue... What you wrote, Louis... That shows me that you want more. That you want to let it out and let others in."

"I'm just... scared," Louis found himself saying, not really sure what he meant by the words, nor why he said them.

He could feel Mrs Carter's eyes trained on him, so he continued to stare at the floor.

"You're scared of loss. Scared of losing someone again. Someone close to you. But Louis, that's life. You lose people. People you care about. And there will always be people you care about. No matter how closed off you are. There are always people that you love. One moment they're right next to you, and the next moment they're gone.

"You need to choose how you remember them. If you keep pushing people away and wishing you could escape to a dream world, then when they're gone, the pain and guilt of not spending more time with them will eat you. Yes, Louis, it will hurt no matter what when you lose somebody. But if you have the memories and the connection you shared to remember them by, then it will become easier. Trust me. I know what it's like to lose, Louis. I know the pain."

"I'm trying." The words slipped from Louis' mouth.

In a matter of seconds, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up to see Mrs Carter.

"That's the hardest part. But you'll learn. You're smart, and you're strong, just like your parents. As you said, 'We don't need perfection. We just need hope.' Go, find your hope, Louis." Mrs Carter finished with a small smile, and Louis returned it.

The afternoon had not gone how he thought it was going to go, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't glad to see the old Mrs Carter again. When he was younger, his mother and father would often invite her around, and Louis always looked up to her. She had taught him so much when he was only a child.

"I think I already have," Louis whispered as his mind suddenly landed on Isaac, and he felt his smile grow wider as he saw a knowing look gleam in Mrs Carter's eyes.

"I'm proud of you, Louis," she whispered. "I don't think you'd want to perform the rest of the monologue after that."

Louis shuffled on the spot in front of Mrs Carter, without a word, and waited for her to continue.

"Just give me the monologue, and I'll mark it from that as well as what you just performed."

"That sounds good," Louis responded with a small smile, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes before handing Mrs Carter the printed version of his monologue.

"Have a good afternoon, Louis."

With that, Mrs Carter gave Louis one more smile before ushering him out the door. After a moment of standing in the silent hallways of the school, Louis headed towards the exit, beginning his walk home.

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A/N: Louis has some powerful stuff in that mind of his.

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