I'm so overwhelmed
I'm supposed to be signing up for classes for next year at public high school, but my mom and doctor and therapists and shit are all trying to get me to go to a different school at the same time.
I'm trying to keep my grades up
Every week I have a doctors appointment where they shove me on some new antidepressant or up my dose or pull me off or yell at me for wanting it all to end.
I'm trying to draw
I'm trying to ride horse more
I'm trying to have any motivation at all.
I'm so alone. I have no real friends. No one I can really talk to. The only shoulder I really felt totally comfortable crying on is someone I never see any more.
I bottle my feelings because I have no where else to put them. No one to talk to.
I obsess over social media and just can't delete it because there's one person on there I don't want to lose.
I only have one person I really like but I know they don't give that much of a damn about me.
I'm suffering through storms of mental health issues
that never go away.
I am no one's favourite.
I am the outcast no matter where I am.
I have nothing left.
I have no one.
They all left me.
I want to tell someone. There's someone I really want to tell too. But I don't want them to se me as a fucked up sick person they should feel sorry for. I have no one. I am nothing. I just cry in my room and feel sorry for myself. I draw people because then at least there's someone. I'm so alone. I'm so alone. I'm so alone.
I'm
So
Alone.
