The dragon and the silver mare

II. Audience

... I took off my helmet. I heard my hair falling onto my shoulders in the silence that followed. My heart tried to escape my ribcage. The air froze. I raised my eyes to meet Nobunaga's... I heard the others gasping in disbelief. He was struggling to believe his eyes too. The silence was unbearable. No one moved. What is he thinking? Then without showing any emotions he walked towards me with long strides. What is he going to do?

He stopped right in front of me, his eyes looking across my soul. I was shaking and dropped my helmet. What is this? Should I be worried? He wrapped one arm around my waist, his other hand held the back my head. Those crimson eyes were impaling me... He drew me closer and pressed his lips on mine... My heart stopped for a moment. I expected anything but this. It was over as fast as it happened. He cupped my cheeks when he pulled away and I unconsciously held his hands.

'It's really you.' He searched my face with a gentle gaze.

'Yes.' I whispered. I was stunned. Then we let go.

'You have a lot to explain.' His voice turned back to normal.

'I know.' Mine was raspy. I felt the emotions rising in me.

I had to gather my courage to face everyone. I didn't know what to expect. Will they be happy to see me again? Or angry? Or not care at all? I was full of doubts but slowly and uncertainly turned around. They were all there... Hideyoshi, Mitsunari, Ieyasu, Mitsuhide and... Masamune... I just stood there looking at them. My heart was beating out of rhythm. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. What can one possibly say when they rise from the dead? Hi? I couldn't find the words... My eyes were tearing up. I swallowed them back and smiled uncertainly. I am so happy to see you all! But the words didn't come out... When I saw Ieyasu's faint smile my vision became foggy and I felt warm trails on my cheeks. I wiped away my tears and I saw that now everyone, even Mitushide, was smiling. Everyone but Masamune... My guts twisted.

Finally, Nobunaga broke the silence. 'War council. Now.'

The warlords took seats in front of me. I sat down last.

'Speak!' Nobunaga motioned with his hand.

'I-I don't know where to start...' Maybe I should apologise first.

'We thought you took your own life...' Hideyoshi made the first move for me.

'I tried to.' I sighed. 'I wandered in the forest for days. I wanted to get as far away from Azuchi as I could, so you could never find me. I was sitting by a pond somewhere in the woods with the knife in my hand. I wanted to do it... When suddenly, a stag appeared by the water. His coat was all white like fresh snow and he had huge antlers. He looked at me and drank from the pond. When he finished, he looked at me again and walked across the water to face me. He was so beautiful and mystical and he had this otherworldly aura... I didn't dare to look him in the eye but I knew, he was staring at me. Then like I was driven by an invisible force, I gazed up into his blue eyes and I heard a voice in my head that said Don't!' I didn't tell them but the voice I heard was Masamune's. That haunting voice I used to be so fond of. 'And I dropped the knife.'

'He didn't even flinch. A normal deer would have run away. He was just standing there, staring into my eyes for a long time... Eventually, he shook his head, turned around and vanished into the bushes...' I trailed off. I knew it sounded like made up bullshit, but it was true. If I wasn't skeptical about these things I would have said that I met the god of the forest. But my rational mind didn't let me say it.

'Sounds like you met a god.' Mitsunari looked amazed.

'I honestly don't know... I have no explanation for what happened there. But that encounter stopped me from finishing off my plan.' I took a deep breath and continued. I had a lot to tell. 'After that I went to Osaka and sold my kimono to get some money. Then I got on a ship and travelled to the island of Okinawa and stayed there for a month. It was the most beautiful place I've ever been to. It has the greenest, lushest forests with flowers of a million colours. The beaches are white and the sand is warm and soft like silk. The sun is always shining and the ocean is so blue...' I searched for Masamune's gaze because the ocean was exactly as blue as his eye. But he refused to look at me. Something pinched my heart. '...you wouldn't even believe it.'