WIVES OF THE PROPHET

Hafsa bint Umar

For her father it was very painful to see his daughter in this state. Her silent courage under these circumstances, her patient prayers and her study of the Quran irradiated her countenance with a spiritual beauty and innocence, but there was also a sadness because of the harsh loneliness that had become part of her life. After deep thought 'Umar Faruq decided to approach 'Uthman bin Affan, whose wife Ruqayyah the Prophet's daughter, had passed away. He thought that sharing a common bond would help to alleviate their sorrow in losing worthy spouses. So, having taken this decision he went direct to 'Uthman. After the formal greeting and expression of condolences on his wife's death he broached the topic closest to his heart. 'Uthman lowered his eyes and then after a few moments pause, he said he needed time to think it over.

'Umar Faruq met him again after a few days and asked him if he had thought over the proposal. 'Uthman answered that he was not presently planning on marriage. From there he went to Abu Bakr Siddiq and offered him his daughter in marriage. He too lowered his gaze and did not answer him. Imam Bukhari in his book of Hadith, As-Sahih Al-Bukhari, has given a whole chapter to the topic of an honorable man offering his sister or daughter in marriage.

'Umar Faruq was very upset because both the men he approached had either avoided or refused marriage to his daughter. He was confident of a willing and joyful acceptance but things turned out otherwise. He was very upset and worried at the turn of events; in a sense it was an affront to him and his position as a sincere defender of the faith. People, he thought, would consider it an honor to have an alliance by marriage with him. With this grievance he went to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and explained to him the position he found himself in. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) smilingly answered that he should neither grieve nor worry, and Allah willing he would find a man better than 'Uthman for Hafsah and 'Uthman in turn, would find for himself a better woman than Hafsah.

'Umar Faruq was pleased on hearing this from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) himself, but also a little perplexed over who such a man could be? A few days later the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married his daughter, Umm Kulthum to 'Uthman. 'Umar Faruq realized that one part of the prediction had come true, but he continued to puzzle over the second half of the statement. Who could possibly be a better man than 'Uthman? Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) proposed marriage to Hafsah. 'Umar Faruq could not believe his ears; his daughter would have the honor of joining the select band of women who were known as the Mothers of the believers! 'A'ishah and Sawdah were already part of the Prophet's household. It seemed too good to be true. Thus Hafsah was joined in marriage to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in the 3rd year after Hijrah, before the Battle of Uhud. She was about twenty-two years old at the time. On seeing off his daughter to her husband's house, 'Umar Faruq told her that she should never try to compete with 'A'ishah, who was the Prophet's favorite and better than her in many respects. He said she should respect her sincerely and live happily as a member of the first and foremost family.

Sa'id bin Al-Musayyab, a learned scholar, states that the Prophet's prediction that he was a better husband for Hafsah than 'Uthman was proved right, as was his statement that Umm Kulthum was a better wife for 'Uthman than Hafsah. After the marriage Abu Bakr Siddiq met with 'Umar Faruq and told him the truth, which was that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had mentioned to him that he planned to marry Hafsah. That was the reason he had remained silent, as it would not have been proper to betray his confidence. If matters were different he would have been only too happy to accept her hand in marriage. 'Umar Faruq expressed his happiness by quoting the following Ayah,

"This is by the Grace of my Lord - to test me whether I am grateful or ungrateful! And whoever is grateful, truly, his gratitude is for himself; and whoever is ungrateful, (it is for the loss of only himself). Certainly my Lord is Rich, Bountiful." [Noble Quran 27:40]