The Sound of Silence 2 // H.S.

36

Harry hooks his arms under my knees and gingerly stretches my legs out. My shaky arms automatically hug my middle.

"Doctor says it was my blood sugar. Mum just ordered enough room service for a small army." Harry's tone was light like him fainting was nothing but a doozy. I notice him flex his wrist in discomfort.

"Harry, I think you need to actually commit to therapy. You're eating less and less. We both do the same thing when we're stressed! I was so scared! What were you doing at the fucking gym for 2 hours?!" I might as well lay it out now with his family in the next room to back me up if I needed it. They're concerned, too.

"I had those three sessions months ago. I'm fine. I...I lost track of time at the gym. You know I like to read when I run." He's mumbles and avoids all eye contact.

"You're a terrible liar." I reach out to gently massage his achy wrist. "And for fuck's sake, please go to the doctor about your wrist!"

"It'll be fine in 20 minutes."

"EVERYTHING IS CLEARLY NOT FINE!" My chin wobbles in an attempt to hold back a sob. "You're not okay, monkey. Please stop being so stubborn!"

I'm a sniffling mess when I crawl into his lap, still cradling his wrist to me. He tucks my head under his chin, the both of us trying to find comfort in each other. I hear him sniff then let out a sob into my hair.

"I need to be strong for you...trying to be man enough." He is speaking so quietly, but I hear him. I can hear him even if he doesn't tell me. It's in his actions. It's in his eyes. It's in the way he puts me first in everything now.

"You are more than man enough, don't be silly." I kiss up his jaw. "It's okay if you're not okay. You got me and I got you. Besides, I handled myself for a long time without you."

"Would you prefer being without me? You left before." He mutters the last part more to himself, but I heard him.

I wasn't expecting that.

That stung.

I scooted off his lap as the bad kind of goosebumps begin to spread across my skin. Is he still trying to guilt trip me for leaving him? Is that really what's bothering him?

Before I could muster up an answer, Anne walks in to let us know that the food is here. Harry walks out too fast for someone who fainted not too long ago.

I was waiting for the ground to swallow me up.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

"Everything alright, dear?" Anne rubs my back in concern.

I don't want to lie to his mother nor do I want to tell on him and agitate him even more.

"I'm worried about him." I bite my tongue, willing my eyes to stop from watering.

"Me, too. I've been worried for awhile. He's very stubborn...reckon he gets that from his father." She shakes her head.

Harry never talks about his dad. Perhaps I'm used to daddy issues and I know not to ask.

"He never talks about him."

"Their relationship is complicated. Desmond has changed for the better now, but he had a bit of drinking problem when we were married. Harry witnessed things as a little boy that he's never been able forgive him for." Anne eyes gloss over with haunted memories. She blinks and her twinkle returns. "Come eat before it gets cold."

I've forgiven my dad. I've also forgiven my mother and sister even if I choose to no longer be associated with them. I forgive them because I've also forgiven myself for putting up with so much bullshit for my entire life.