Soldier

I'm someone else

Trigger Warning ⚠️: Addiction

Brian McCook's POV
I left Brian's apartment tonight feeling empty.... like a failure. Brian doesn't know this but our last tour I relapsed on meth I know I shouldn't have and I'm sober now yes it's only been a month but that is something but tour is a completely different situation I'm constantly exhausted and I never feel like I'm good enough. On tour I don't know how to explain it I'm someone else the person I used to be. Talking about it gives me the urges and I hate it Fuck! Damn! Bitch! Cunt! And with that I lashed out rage bubbling with in me and I see the bottle of whisky I had set out for my "date" and I pause bringing it up to my lips all the old thoughts and feelings come back to me. One drink won't hurt will it? I just need something right now! It's better than meth right? At last I take my inevitable drink breaking down as I finish the bottle I throw it across the kitchen and sink to the ground sobbing uncontrollably and I feel so empty there's nothing left for me.....I'm a failure.
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Brian Firkus's POV
The way Brian left made me anxious.... everything was fine and then he suddenly got up and left. It was strange but he was probably just busy or tired or I don't know but I'm sure he would of told if something was bothering him. I just can't get rid of this pit in my stomach telling me something is wrong with him. Maybe he's just upset about the David thing. I hate seeming him upset he means everything to me.
If only he knew....