Origami Heart (Book 3 - DP series - COMPLETE)

22. Loyalties

"Okay," I say softly, the air frigid with tension even though the summer heat is strong.

We sit watching the flames for several seconds and I realize for the first time since Mike's return that we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. It'd be one thing if we both still shared affection for each other—we'd at least have a reason to try and make it work—but we don't even have that. It's not even that he's just a stranger to me because of how war has changed him. I mean, yes, he's completely different, but then again, so am I. He left behind a lovestruck, success-driven girl and returned to a lost woman with an illegitimate child.

As hard as it is to admit, I don't think we fit anymore. We're strangers. No, worse than strangers. Because at least strangers have the option of getting to know each other. We've already done that... and yet, we don't know each other at all. How do we change that? And do I even want to anymore?

"What's Michelle up to?" I find myself asking, expecting the question to feel bitter on my tongue. Instead, a genuine softness lifts my face into a smile that I didn't realize I had for her.

"Not sure," he tells me, crossing his arms and staring into the fire. "I think she had a family thing tonight."

"Oh." I nod as more awkward silence invades the space between us. "Well, next time you should bring her along."

His eyes finally lift to meet mine and I see dark swirling blue analyzing me. "I thought you didn't like her?"

"What?" My stomach sinks. "Why would you think that?"

"I just—I mean, you admitted to still having feelings for me. Or, you implied it anyway," he says, fumbling through his explanation. "I just figured you'd be bothered by the fact that Michelle and I were close."

"Oh." I meet his eye, wondering if there's any truth in that. At first there was, but I just don't think I feel the same way anymore. This new Mike isn't the guy I loved and I don't see my heart opening up to him like it did in college. I'm drawn to goofy guys who are laid back and sweet. Mike is none of those things anymore and it's hard to dig up an attraction for someone who's so cold and bitter and broken.

The realization hurts. I've pined after him for years, waiting for him to waltz back into my life and beg me to marry him—finally—but I guess it took him coming back for me to fall out of love. I peer up at him, my gaze taking in the sharp plains of his face and I notice how achingly attractive he is. Guess my hurt had blinded me to the beautiful man looking back at me. That's what I needed. My hurt allowed me to overlook his flawless smile, dazzling eyes and strong jaw and see the more ugly parts of him. I get that he's wounded in unspeakable ways from the war, and as much as I once wished to offer my support, I now know I'll never be that person for him.

"Does she think I don't like her?" I ask, worry bunching the skin between my brows.

"No," he assures me. "Just something I noticed." He pauses for a moment, relaxing his shoulders as a tired smile tugs at his lips. "She really liked you though."

"Well," I grin. "Contrary to what you believe, I really liked her too. Next time we all hang out, you should bring her along."

"Yeah," he answers slowly and then smiles before repeating the single word with a bit more energy. "Yeah. And what about Jessie?"

"What about him?"

"Can I invite him along next time too?"

I laugh, startling myself with the power behind it but choose to play it off as if I'd intended to be that dramatic. "Right," I joke. "Definitely. I mean, if you and I can get along, then Jessie and I can too. Who doesn't love to be surrounded by a room of their exes."