A Peculiar Solace {Hardzello Love Story}

Four

They sat together for nearly every meal now. Breakfast and lunch and dinner. They sat together during the group session too. Side by side, listening to people talk about their lives. They would roll their eyes together when someone got too dramatic and watched tv together when something halfway decent was on.

They played ping-pong together and by God was it exciting. They had gotten in trouble due to getting too into it. Joe was swinging his arm too fast, hitting the ball obnoxiously too far off range. Joe was incredibly competitive even if he didn't look it.

Ben was threatening to strangle him if he didn't knock the shit off. Joe told him to do it and the other man practically tackled him out of spite. They rolled around, not really fighting, just needing to see who could make it out on top.

They were ripped apart by the staff and forced into an adult time out. They sat together there too, sitting on the floor, laughing at how ridiculous it was. They sat together in the all-white room, in white clothing and just kept smiling and laughing.

It was the first time Joe felt something since he arrived. And really it was the first time he felt something in general.

"You have a nice laugh." Ben had told him, leaning back against the wall, his knees hunched up.

The way his accent rolled around the words made Joe's toes curl. It was deeper than he expected when he first thought and there was an underlining sweetness to it.

Reaching forward, Joe took the lighter from him. He flipped the lid open and close, mimicking Ben's movements. The metal was warm from always being held. He liked it.

"You have a nice everything," Joe told him because it was true.

Ben didn't look real. Not really. He was insanely good looking. Like a fucking Ken doll. Like he was a sculpture turned to life. Made by Michelangelo or Rafael or one of the other fucking ninja turtles. He had an impressive jawline and pretty eyes and nice hair. His lips were pouty and red and Joe thought about him sometimes at night. Like where the fuck did he get off looking so good?

Ben didn't reply. He was quiet, flipping his lighter open and closed with his thumb.

Ben probably thought he was pathetic. Flirting with him when they were literally in time out, in a fucking psych ward. You literally couldn't get any lower than that.

But when Joe decided to be brave and make a move, to test what he could do, Ben didn't push him away. Joe wondered if he really wanted him to. If he wanted Ben to push him away and call him a fag and destroy the friendship they had created because if Joe was anything, he was a self-destructive bastard.

But he didn't He kissed him back and ran his finger along his jawline, holding his face close to him. Joe wasn't sure how long they had in there, but they kept kissing until they heard the door knock from the outside.

When they were finished with their punishment, they went their separate ways. Joe wondered if they'd pretend like it didn't happen. Joe was completely ready to do just that until it was lights out and Ben slipped into his room.

It wasn't like the place was heavily monitored. Two-night guards making sure nobody tried to escape, but the fact that Ben could sneak in and nobody come in to check was surprising. Weren't they worried about assisted suicides and all that or did they really expect the patients to be too out of it due to all the pills they had been given?

Granted, it would basically be murder but that was all based on the moral backbone of the patient. Killing yourself was easy, but killing someone else? Not worth the trouble really.

Joe was sitting up in his bed, watching as Ben came closer. He climbed onto the small bed, barely big enough for one of them, let alone both of them. But they made it work, one on top of the other as they kissed and kissed, touched and felt. Getting a feel of one another.