Texting 7: I'm Connie Springer And I Approve This Message

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(F/N): Let's reflect on this

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(F/N): So next time I introduce you to someone, I'm gonna go, "Say hello to my little friend!" and then reach into my pocket like I'm gonna pull out a gun or something, and then you waltz up like "Sup", and I'll be like, "This is my friend, Connie."

Connie: I'm Connie Springer and I approve this message

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(F/N): I've always wanted to swim with dolphins

Christa: I just shaved my legs and they feel like dolphins

(F/N): What, rubbery?

(Christa): (F/N)... no

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(F/N): I forgot the word 'reindeer' today, so I described them as 'Christmas llamas'

(F/N): I can honestly say that I've never seen such an expression on Erwin's face before

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(F/N): A squirrel is staring at me through the patio door

(F/N): I think he's part of a gang

Jean: He's curious

(F/N): I'M curious, he's maniacal

(F/N): His cheeks are stuffed with rage

Jean: nuts

(F/N): YOU'RE NUTS!

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(F/N): My sleeves are too long for my little handsies

Connie: Why are these the types of texts I wake up to?

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Sasha: Ugghhh. I feel so sick

(F/N): Aw, I'm sorry to hear

(F/N): If you want, you can come over and lay on my crotch

Sasha: What? Well... if you really want me too...

(F/N): I swear to God I meant couch

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(F/N): I hate to say 'I told you so'

(F/N): So I'll sing it instead

(F/N): *ahem*

Armin: please no

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(F/N): You mean to tell me...

(F/N): That stress balls aren't for throwing at people who stress you out?

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(F/N): A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it

Connie: ahahahahah

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Jean: you're a 10?

Jean: Maybe on the pH scale, 'cause you basic

(F/N): Actually, basic would be around pH 7, making me a perfect mix of basic and crazy.

(F/N): *slides anime glasses up*

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(F/N): I'm on a wagon and this baby keeps trying hold my finger

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