Why Me? [an Akatsuki Cat Story]

Chapter 9

~RECAP~

I lead everyone to the kitchen for coffee and snacks, hoping to distract Angie from the actual purpose she came here for.

"So, where are your little devil kitties, hmm?"

Shit.

~RECAP OVER~

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." I have no idea what to say. How do you explain to someone that your kittens magically transformed into people?

"They, umm.... Theyyyyyy.. Kind of..." I start, trailing off near the end. Angie will definitely know something is up.

"We can't find the....... kittens.. at the moment." Zetsu spoke up. I look to him, surprised that he came to my rescue. I sigh in relief. I am going to have to thoroughly thank him later.

"YA! The kitties are out having fun and EXPLORING!" Tobi squeals, dancing around and imitating a cat. Fucking retard. He's less adorable when he's human.

"Y-yeah, they'll probably come back in when they're all tired." I say, looking from Zetsu and Tobi to Angie. I bite my lip while I wait for her to answer, but she just nods. I simply return the nod and get out some cake. Cake solves every problem. Shit, I'm gonna have to make more cake, there's only a few slices left.

~

"CAKE! MORE FUCKING CAKE!" Hidan's screams are slightly muffled from the pillow Angie is holding against his face. Yeah, Hidan was being a little bitch and complaining about wanting more cake, so Angie somehow managed to pin Hidan to the floor and is currently trying to smother him to shut him up.

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE GOD DAMN CAKE, YOU FUCKING IMBECILE!" Angie shouts in defiance. Hot damn, she can be loud sometimes.

"Hey Angie, why don't you stop trying to murder Hidan and come with me, we'll watch The Avengers." I say, gathering as many snacks I can carry.

"YASSS!" Angie practically jumps off of Hidan and runs to my side. You see, Angie is a major Loki fangirl. But before Hidan can speak Angie slowly turns towards him and says in her darkest voice "You piss me off again and I will kill you."

Angie scurries off to the lounge room, taking almost all of my kitchen with her. Tobi follows her, squealing in joy about the insane amount of food she's carrying. I gather everyone and follow after Angie to find that she has already got the movie ready and the snacks organised. You can always trust Angie to be quick with technology. And food.

"Ok, Angie. Umm, they've never actually seen The Avengers," I say, gesturing to my 'family friends and relatives'. "Or actually any other movie," I mumble under my breath so nobody can hear.

Angie gasps loudly in mock shock, holding a hand to her chest. Hopefully she won't spoil this for them. Luckily, everyone's talking drowned out anything Angie could've possibly ruined.

~

The lights are out, the movie is starting, and Angie is shouting at everyone to 'stop gobbling like the fucking geese we are'. It didn't take long for everyone to calm down, after all Angie is a fucking beast that should not be messed with.

Ten minutes into the movie and everyone has their eyes glued to the screen, mouths slightly open. They look so adorable, like they've just seen a huge plate of pizza after a long day of work. Sadly, I've watched this movie way too much with Angie, so I'm not really in the mood for it. I slowly stand up and walk out the door, everyone too enthralled by the movie to even notice my disappearance.

I grab my phone from the kitchen counter and dial in a memorised number. Whenever I have any troubles, this is the first number I call. And then Angie.