My Kids And I

My Kids and I: The lessons learnt from a simple cruise (CONTINUED)

Alone time. That is what I need. I just want to be alone so I can think.

"We went to the orphanage" I could hear dad reply mum from behind and too tired to even bother eavesdropping on their conversation –which I know will likely become an argument– I jog up the golden spiral staircase and follow through the path that leads to my room en route.

'It's leukemia in its deadly stage,' I had overheard the tall, dark-skinned male doctor on a white coat and stethoscope, say to dad back there in the hospital. 'She has leukemia'

Letting out a deep sigh, I push open my door after inserting the key into the door hole. Switching the light on, I shut the door close and exhausted, I lean onto it for support.

Memories from the hospital scene continue replaying in my head and somehow, I can feel my heart breaking in pieces.

"It's in its advanced stage and the symptoms that accompany it can no longer be contained" The doctor had said to dad and even though I was seated on the couch a bit far from the both of them, I could still read his lips.

"Dizziness, a bit of mood swings, constant vulnerability to illnesses since the rate of blood cell production is threatened"

Shaking off the thoughts from my head for a while, I leave the door side and swiftly taking off my white sneakers and fluffy jacket, I land straight on the Queen size bed.

"Can...can something not be done about it? Like therapy? Or surgery? Or bone marrow transplant?"

The look in dad's eyes had made me give up my last attempt at holding back the emotions welling up in my heart. His eyes screamed desperation, a tiny ray of hope and maybe, fear.

Of course, he's a doctor so he should already know the answers to the questions he was demanding, even though he kept inquiring.

A single teardrop at a time, followed by another and in the next minute, I am in a sober mess. Pressing my handkerchief to my face, I feel the salty liquid dripping down my cheeks at the reality of it all.

Miracle might never get better....

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11:00pm.

That is what the clock reads at this hour and rolling from side to side on my bed, then finally leaning on my belly at a point, I hiss as realization damned on me.

Hunger.

I'm hungry.

Very hungry.

So hungry to the point that I can't even tell if I'm fully asleep or awake or otherwise.

This cannot be happening to me. Not now.

'You brought this upon yourself, Anastasia' The voice in my head scolds and from my minds eye, I can imagine her wiggling her index finger at me. 'If you had not insisted on being an arse to your mum and everyone else, then this may not have happened!'