Joker Oneshots {Heath Ledger}

1• Dining with a Clown

The Joker and Harley have dinner together.
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"You-uh better have cooked it this time." The words ran with ease over his tongue, his smooth, velvety voice like an addictive hymn to one's ears. He spoke differently to other people, not in a bad way, but unique. He pronounced certain words with more emphasis, as if it had greater importance than the rest. Each word was dramatised, even with the subtle 'uh' he would use after an 'I' or 'You'. He also prolonged some words, giving everyone an extra millisecond of time to contemplate their life choices before he ultimately killed them.

His beady, dark eyes stared through hooded lids. Black clouds of greasepaint surrounded each eye, causing him to look permanently tired. His tongue darted out of his mouth, habitually licking his bright red lips. Gruesome scars stretched up across his face, being highlighted by a thick red paint. It gave the illusion that he was always smiling, which Harley knew was a lie.

His greasy hair sat in curls atop his head, untamed and definitely not groomed. The long ringlets reached the nape of his neck, tickling his pale and warm skin. A silk, purple hexagonal shirt sat loosely on his torso, his body void of any coat due to the stuffy, cramped kitchen. His usual purple trousers and multi-coloured socks were the only other things he wore.

"I cooked it to perfection." Harley gingerly smiled, leaning forward as she picked up her knife and fork before slicing up her steak.

The Joker furrowed his brows under the layer of grease paint, eyes lowering as he studied the large piece of meat steaming on his plate. It was surrounded by mash potatoes and an assortment of vegetables.

Paint-ridden fingers picked up the cutlery, jabbing the meat a few times before cutting it open. It's juices spilled out onto the plate, causing a reddish-brown colour to leak into the other food. He let out a grunt, letting her know that he was satisfied it was not completely rare.

He popped a piece in his mouth, chewing it aggressively before swallowing. It seemed edible so far. He was waiting for Harley's murderous cooking to play its part, but so far he was impressed.

She watched on in silent admiration, wondering how she got so lucky. He was perfect to her. He made her laugh, was capable of having fun, and was certainly good in bed, but she especially liked the fact that he didn't care what anyone thought of him. He would do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He couldn't care less what people would say, and that's what she loved about him.

"You're staring." He snapped her out of her trance, causing her cheeks to turn a light shade of pink in embarrassment. She noticed that he hadn't even raised his head from his meal, he must have just known she was staring, as always.

They ate their dinner in silence for a few minutes, but the Joker began to grow irritable and fidgety. His knee was shaking under the table and she could see him begin to twist his knife in his palm, feeling the need to have a blade resting in his hand. She knew he wouldn't be able to sit still for one evening.

Suddenly from the corner of her eye she could see a head appear from the slightly ajar door behind the Joker. It was a henchman, Ivan to be specific. His dark eyes surrounded by a deep purple colour looked worried as he began to make silent conversation with Harley.

Her eyes widened as she quickly shook her head, not wanting him to come in and spoil her man's mood. But the clown must have noticed her attention on a different body and looked over his shoulder.

His eyes narrowed as he slapped his laps together. "What?" His voice was on the edge of irritated and angry, one more wrong move and he would stay that way for the rest of the night. His fist tightened around the knife as his knee stood still, causing a suffocating silence to fill the room.

"B-Boss," The man entered the small makeshift kitchen, eyes automatically lowering to the floor as he wrung his hands together. "Bosco can't find some of the charges, and - and." His stuttering was silenced by a deep sigh from the madman.

"I will be down in a minu-te." He waved his hand and dismissed the henchman who left briskly without another word. He turned back towards Harley, an unreadable expression on his face.

She reached out and ran her bleached hand along his bare arm, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. "Just stay with me for a little while longer, please puddin." Her eyes were desperate as she rubbed slow circles along his muscular forearm.

He quickly slapped her hand away, letting out a quiet growl. His chair scraped harshly across the ground while he stood, carrying his plate to a shallow basin in the corner.

She pulled her arm into her chest, gently caressing her hand. The sound of laughter erupted from the pit of the Joker's stomach, ricocheting off the walls as she shivered at the sound. It was another one of his manic laughs, not the kind you'd want to hear when he had easy access to knives.

"I-uh really know how to pick-em." He smiled to himself, leaning heavily against the countertop, body hunched over as he reached for a sharp kitchen knife.

She saw him pick the knife up and hold the blunt side upwards against the inside of his arm, concealing it from prying eyes. He skipped over to her with a spring in his step, before placing a sloppy kiss on her neck. She smiled meekly, watching as he left the room, whistling a happy tune, knowing exactly what was coming.

The sound of his footsteps disappeared along the metal flooring of their warehouse. They had moved into it with many of their henchman after it was abandoned on the outskirts of Gotham City. It had everything they needed, although Harley would like more.

Next she heard an ear-splitting scream of pain, before a low blood curdling noise and then silence. Many voices followed afterwards, whispering and talking about what they had just witnessed, and remembering the last memories they had with Bosco.

Harley stood from the table, following in the Joker's actions as she brought her plate to the basin. She let out a deep breath, before scrubbing away at the leftovers. Another typical dinner with the Joker.

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Please vote and comment if you enjoyed! This is my first time writing Heath Ledger's Joker so I will happily accept any sort of criticism 😊