Blue? I never see blue... (A Bakushima/Kiribaku Soulmate AU)

Chapter 3: The Voices

⚠️Trigger Warning: Panic Attack (And maybe a bit of self harm, It's only nails digging into skin and cutting it but I'm being safe)⚠️

Kirishima's POV

My eyes go wide and my small smile drops. In... the same... Class!? Why would I write that! I don't even actually think it's possible! I'm NOT ready to embarrass myself in front of my soulmate. I look down at my arm and wipe off the messages, hoping they didn't see the last one. But of course they did.

(Same as last chapter, Kiri = Underlined Bakugou = Bold)

I highly doubt it.

Yeah, but even if we were, I'm not ready to embarrass myself. Stupid I know...

I sigh, stupid fears. Stupid family. Stupid middle school.

Embarrass yourself?

I'm not someone who people like. I've been told this thousands of times by people who I thought loved me.

I see my writing turn blue, I ignore it for now and carry on.

I'm a nobody. I know I am.

I stop a second. I take a shaky breath and I prepare.

I need a break. I'm sorry.

I draw a quick smiley face. Ironcic. I feel the tears welling up. Before I can ask to use the bathroom, the bell rings. I grab my bag and rush out of the room. I hear Kaminari calling me but I brush it off and continue to the bathroom. Once I get there I shut myself in a stall, sit on the toilet seat and put my legs up. I feel the tears fall and I wipe them furiously. Their words shout at me.

My parents.
Useless
Unwanted
Disappointment

My "friends"
Annoying
Loud
Obnoxious

I grip my wrist, my nails digging in to the skin. I struggle to breathe. I feel a lump in my throat and I shudder. My vision goes blurry. I feel bile rise in my throat. Then I feel a tingle on my wrist.

Your writing's blue. That's never happened before. Are you okay?

I grab the pen and write out a short reply.

Fine. Just peachy.

Dark blue. Thanks emotions. I put the pen away and walk out of the stall. I walk up to the mirror and look at myself. Puffy red eyes and marks on my wrist. I thought it stopped. I steady my breathing and try to make it look like I didn't just have a panic attack on my first day of school. In the bathroom. Pathetic. I wait until the bell rings, signalling the end of break. I begin to make my way to my next class.

"KIRISHIMA WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU IDIOT YOU SCARED ME!" I look behind me and spot a yellow head with a black-haired person. I put on my fake smile and look at them. "You two look close, who is this guy Kaminari?" I tease. Kaminari goes red and stutters. "I- WE- UGH I HATE YOU!" I 'laugh' and turn to walk to my class again, now with two people following me. "Right, Sero this is Kirishima, Kiri this is Sero! Now do the friend thing!" He smiles. Both Sero and I look at Kaminari like he's crazy. "What?" He asks, genuinely confused. "Is there something in my teeth?" He then proceeds to scrub at his teeth. Sero laughs lightly, "Nope, nothing in your teeth, but what's 'the friend thing'?" Kaminari makes a noise of understanding and begins to explain, "The friend thing is when people become friends. I did the friend thing with both of you today!" that's when Sero begins laughing uncontrollably. I chuckle lightly, trying to cover my sadness. I don't need an interrogation. Once the pair calm down, I see Kaminari glance at my wrists. He gasps softly and grabs my wrists. "What happened..?" I avoid his questioning gaze. This is exactly NOT what I wanted. I pull my hands back and stuff my pockets of my blazer. "Nothing! I just fell and cut them on something in the bathroom," I lie with a smile on my face. The two other males look at me sadly. We walk to the class in uncomfortable silence. We walk into the class just before the late bell rings. I sigh in relief and grab my pen from my pocket. I grab my soulmate pen as well. I owe my soulmate an explanation. I push back my worries and begin writing.

Sorry about earlier. Something happened and I freaked out a bit. I'm fine.

I tune out the class, focusing on my arm.

You scared the SHIT out of me. What the FUCK happened?

Bad memories. Nothing I can't handle.

After school

"...And so he goes 'I wouldn't do that, dickhead'" Kaminari laughs as Sero reenacts Bakugou, a person in our class. If I think about it, Sero and Kaminari are getting quite close. "Hey, lovebirds! Get a room, I don't want to see you eye-fucking anymore!" I hear a loud voice from beside Kaminari. "Oh hi Bakugou!" I smile. I don't understand, why does a person with a bad temper like Bakugou make me feel so happy? "Oh come on Bakugou, Sero here is just my bro!" Sero nods in agreement and I scoff. "Yeah, 'just friends' have fun with that," I mumble under my breath, not meaning to be heard. I hear a soft chuckle come from Bakugou and I instantly smile more. "Not you too Kiri!" I look away, "Well if you weren't hanging on each other like touch-starved children, I wouldn't be saying this!" Kaminari groans and Sero chuckles lightly. "Well I'm gonna go, I'll see you all tomorrow!" I walk away, looking at my wrists. The cuts scabbed up quick.

AUTHORS NOTE:
Yo! I'm back with another update that's probably terrible. I hope someone finds the reference in this chapter! So I need a place to rant and this is going to be the place. I've been ill since Monday and this morning I woke up and my tonsils are swollen. YAY -.- Im sat here at 10:44am with a swollen neck so I'm blaming the bad and short chapter on that. I have to go to the doctors when my mum get back from work and I'm dreading it, I hate hospitals. ANYWAYS! Yet again thanks for all the comments and votes. But most importantly, thanks for reading!

~L