𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

insecure -z.h

warning: language

the warm water rained down on you, the tiny bursts of force hitting your body and falling. you drowned out the world by submerging your head completely under the torrent of water.

"zach, don't fucking lie to me! you were flirting!"

" nothing happened! she's my friend! can i not have friends, y/n?"

you shut your eyes and held your breath, the water cascading over your hair and past your ears blocking out all other sounds.

"don't put words in my mouth, zach. there's a difference between friends and whatever was going on with you two."

"i keep telling you, nothing was going on! she wasn't flirting! and neither was i!"

"yes! yes, you were! everybody saw! how do you think that makes me look? when my boyfriend's all over a different girl?"

"i don't know, y/n, but right now you look like a pretty insecure bitch."

you stepped out of the water stream, opening your eyes and gasping for air.

your mouth dropped, speechless. zach seemed to realize what he had said, as his cheeks turned even redder and his eyes softened.

"love, i didn't mean that."
"don't call me that."
"y/n..."
"no, zach. i am so done with you."

zach looked at the ground.

"i told you i didn't want to go to that party, but i still went because YOU wanted me to. and- and then i just have to sit alone while you ditch me for your friends? i'm- i'm done, zach."

your hand reached down to the knob to cut off the water. everything was quiet.

zach's head shot up, eyes wide.
"what- what do you mean?"

"i mean we're done. goodbye, zachary."

your towel was wrapped around your frame, but your wet hair hung loosely as you stood in front of the mirror. your eyes were still red, and your cheeks were still blotchy. you stared at your reflection and hated it. you didn't just hate how weak you looked right now, you hated yourself for leading yourself into this situation.
you hated yourself for falling in a love with someone who was only going to hurt you. you should've learned.
he didn't even bother to go after you

****

zach sat at the edge of his bed, hating himself. he hated himself for dragging you out that night. he hated himself for blaming you for worrying about him. he hated himself for getting mad when you wanted to leave. he hated himself for arguing with you when he knew you were right.

zach hadn't really liked that girl from the party. of course he didn't.
why would he, when he was in love with you? but a few bad decisions led to him being next to her, with you nowhere to be seen.
she had begun to flirt, and since his mind was a little loose, he may have reciprocated it.
he hadn't meant to.

just like he didn't mean to call you an insecure bitch.
god, he couldn't believe he called you an insecure bitch.

and for what?
for caring?
now, he didn't have you.
but he needed you.

***

you sat in your bed. you hadn't replied to y/bsf/n because you couldn't go on your phone without seeing zach's texts and you knew you'd break all over again. so you just stared at the wall, trying to forget about today. you didn't even notice that it was 12:00 am.

but the loud bangs from your window snapped your trance. you tore your eyes from the wall to the window. another rock hit hit the window and fell, making a loud thud.

not sure even thinking, you climbed over your bed to unlock the window to peek outside.

and there stood zach herron, nervously fiddling with his fingers.

you were suddenly awake now.

"zach, what are you doing?! it's 12!" you whisper-yelled down.

"y/n, i need to talk to you." zach's face was pleading and it took every bit of resistance to remember why you couldn't.

you rolled your eyes. "i think you said everything you needed to yesterday."

zach's face fell.
"i- i'm so sorry. i'm a terrible boyfriend. but i really didn't mean it."

"then why'd you say it? you know how sensitive i am about this."

"i swear, it just slipped. i was angry, but i knew you were right. i couldn't argue with you since you were right, so i just hurt you. i'm sorry. god, i'm so sorry."

"zach, i- i think we should take a break."

zach felt his heart begin to pound.

"no, no you can't. y/n, i need you."
"zach..."
"no, y/n, you don't know how much you mean to me. i couldn't even stand you being mad at me for half a day, how am i supposed to leave you completely? y/n, i love you!" his voice rose as he spoke, but you weren't even thinking about the neighbors. zach's voice cracked on the very last word.

silence.

"you love me?" you whispered.

zach's brows furrowed, not realizing that this was his first i love you. it felt like he was made to be saying this to you for eternity, like he'd always been saying it.

"yes.."

and then you were gone. zach panicked when you disappeared from your window.
"oh, god, what have i done?" he whispered to himself, running a hand through his hair.

then your front door opened, and zach turned in time to see you dash towards him. he caught you as you collided into him, arms tangled around his neck as your face hid in his neck. zach's hands automatically wrapped around you. you pulled away to peck his lips.

zach's grin was from ear-to-ear because he knew he had his girl back.

"i love you, too." you whispered

and you both forgot about the insecurities. 

ps: go check out my other book , colorful :))