Chapter 70. Lovesick

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Lovesickness, or heartache, is something most of us can relate to. We may have dealt with a short bout of it at some time in our lives. But, did you know that it can cause mental and physical symptoms, such as depression, hopelessness, nausea, tearfulness, insomnia, lack of concentration, loss of appetite, stress, and so on? It should be noted that prolonged lovesickness can cause physical harm and injury.

—Excerpt from some pamphlet found on the subway years ago

Day 20

Kato slept poorly all night. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. When he did sleep, he had nightmares of arguing with the wolf.

He overslept his alarm and barely made it to chow. Takahashi wasn't there.

"You look like hell," Murata pointed out.

"I hurt Takahashi," Kato sadly admitted.

"No surprise there," Murata stated flatly.

Kato simply stared at his food. He was so depressed he had no idea why he even came to breakfast. Then he immediately corrected himself. He came to see if Takahashi was here. Even just to see him for a few minutes would make Kato happy.

"You gonna tell me what you did?" Murata asked.

Kato started to tear up again. "I made him fall in love with me." He started to cry. He didn't care that the other two boys at the table were uncomfortable.

"Get a hold of yourself, damn." Murata said. "You didn't do any such thing."

Kato sniffled, wiping his tears.

"He fell in love with you because he wanted to."

"Yeah, but I sent him signals. I led him on. I did all these things. I never said no. Now he doesn't want to see me anymore." Kato sobbed.

"What did he say to you?" Murata spoke calmly.

"He doesn't want to swap with me anymore." Kato frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because he's in love with me and I won't have sex with him." Kato spoke frankly.

"Well, then. It sounds like you got what you wanted." Murata scoffed.

"Huh?" Kato was annoyed.

"He broke up with you so now you don't have to worry about having sex with him anymore."

Kato looked at his food and some tears started rolling down his cheeks again. He felt rejected. He briefly wondered why he even talks to Murata who never seems to try to cheer him up.

"And, a bonus, you don't have to worry about him being in love with you anymore."

Kato shed a few more tears.

"You're free to find another seme to protect you. I'm sure Nakamura-san will help you find one."

Kato got mad and angrily stated, "I don't want another fucking seme! I want Ken!"

Murata shrugged. "Sounds like it's too late."

Kato put his hands to his face and started crying again. Tears worked their way through his fingers and onto the table.

Murata sighed.

Kato ate no breakfast that morning. He returned to his room. His emotions were raw. He grabbed his stuff and hoped to at least see Takahashi during class. He looked into the mirror, he did look like hell. His eyes were puffy and red from lack of sleep and crying.

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He stepped into the classroom and met eyes with Takahashi for a moment before Takahashi looked down at his hands on his desk. Kato knew that Takahashi was in wolf mode. It made him sad. He sat down at his desk and waited for class to start.

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