Special Property (BxB)

Chapter 37. About Love

Philophobia is the fear of love, falling in love, or becoming emotionally connected to another person. It can negatively impact the quality of life of its sufferers. While, for most people, love is a deeply satisfying integral part of life, it can cause sufferers to avoid taking emotional risks out of fear, shunning intimacy. In many cases, they are not able to form close, intimate relationships, and can be seen by others as very adept at small talk but equally adept at avoiding discussion of anything of a personal nature.

—Insight of an anonymous sufferer

At lunch, Kato looked up to see Murata approach the table. Murata avoided eye contact with Kato and put his tray down and sat. Kato looked down at his food. He didn't know what to say.

He looked over to the line and, as expected, Takahashi's three companions were last. But there was no Takahashi. As the last three were served their food, Takahashi came jogging in just in time to grab his tray. Kato's heart skipped a beat. Then his heart became sad as he noticed that Takahashi had a swollen bottom lip that was black and blue. The injury robbed Tahakashi of that smile that Kato liked so much. Takahashi looked over once, and then sat down and started talking with his companions.

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"Amen."

Kato began to eat. He still didn't know what to say to Murata. But he figured he would try. He looked at Murata.

"I'm sorry I'm a stuck-up ass," Kato said quietly.

"Finally realize it, eh?" Murata inquired.

"Well, I have a lot more to think about, especially with what you said to me. But I can concede that I've been a bit self-centered."

Murata sighed. "Yeah, but I'm not the one you need to say that to. I've already let it go."

"I see." Kato spoke.

"I'll tell you something else that you might need to hear."

Kato was rather worried that he would be yelled at again, but he still asked, "Yes?"

"After all that, you're still a likeable person, Kato-san. I can see why Takahashi-san likes you."

Kato was confused. "Wait, what do you mean likes?"

"So dense," Murata laughed to himself.

"Huh? Okay, so I'm dense. I don't understand things quickly like you. Just tell me what you mean," Kato complained.

"I think he is developing feelings for you."

"What? Like romance?"

"Yeah. I'm sure he doesn't know it himself at this point, but it seems pretty evident to me."

Kato was shocked. He just didn't know what to think. He was also a bit sorry for Takahashi. He already knew in his heart that he could never return such feelings.

"What should I do?" Kato asked sincerely.

"Be careful. I think, right now, you are in the unique position to either make Takahashi-san very happy or break him. If you do the latter, it may be a mortal would that I wonder if he would ever recover from."

Kato sighed, "I didn't ask for this."

Murata reminded him, "Stop. Remember? Don't be self-centered."

Kato replied, "Sorry."

"Nobody asks for such things. Do you think Takahashi-san asked the heavens for an uke like you?"

Kato was slightly offended, but he also understood what Murata was saying. "No."

"When you start thinking about yourself, force yourself to think of Takahashi-san instead. Put his needs before your own. That's what love is."