Love And Redemption

~Commotion~

"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Joshua asked me. "Nothing, just chill out at the house." I said, wiping off  Victoria's desk. "Man, you got to learn how to let go of the past...face the fact man, she's gone and she's not coming back." Joshua said. I gradually became enraged at each word. "I- I can't! you couldn't possibly understand, so don't tell me how to feel or how to let go, you'd never understand!" I yelled aggressively, unknowingly throwing the bucket down.

He didn't say anything, he just picked up the bucket and handed it to me. "Feel any better?" he asked, being a smart-alec. I rolled my eyes at him as I snatched the bucket from him. "Man, I do understand...it's just you've been grieving too long, you're now living with it like it's normal and it's not." he said, voice serious and compassionate at the same time.

 "I don't have a problem you obviously do...so if you're done I'd like to get back to waxing Victoria's desk, so I can leave." I said irritably. "When God knocks you have to answer the door." he said. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't ready for a lecture, wasn't ready for the commotion of 'God this' and 'God did that' whatever!

"Well, that's the only way, you know God isn't going to be knocking for ever, either you man up and answer the door or close him out and get left behind...cause he is very soon to come, whether you believe it or not and I- I just want you to be ready when he comes for his bride." he said peacefully, reminding me he was a minister. I rolled my eyes.

These 'so called Christians kilt me with this...God is coming back and all that commotion! What's he waiting on? Honestly I don't want to hear anymore of his rants. "Well, he loves you and he cares...it's time to wake up, time is running short, he's giving us time to get it right before it's too late for us...this...all of this is going to fall away, don't hold on to a sinking world." he said, and with that he walked away.

I sighed, I almost wanted to throw this mop at his head. "I don't care...you're sitting here blabbering on and on about someone who doesn't exist...I'm not the one with the problem..you are!" I screamed loud enough that anyone outside the door could hear me. I sighed as I tried leveling my breathing. Her office was medium sized, you could move around a bit without bumping into something.

It had that office flow, that strictly business, yet a little style to it. I personally loved the wooden desk, and the bookcase full of files and books she probably never looks at...just for decoration. Her real work is on her desktop computer. The piano is what catches me by surprise every time. In every office I cleaned...I never seen one, so it surprised me when she had one.

I love pianos, my mom taught me how to play it when I was 6 and a half years old, the only thing I know how to play is 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star'. I miss her so much and know she's probably thinking I'm dead or something. I sighed. I didn't try to cause them any pain, I just didn't know how to tell them what happened. I also didn't want a chance of running into Julia nor Blake, I heard they moved back to my hometown Atlanta, GA after having a baby...which was a girl.

I still checked up on her time to time...even though it's not healthy for me my therapist told me once. I stopped going to my therapist a month ago because he was getting on my frickin' nerves. he kept telling me what to do and diagnosing me as a depressed person. I'm not depressed...I just like to stay inside most of the time and enjoy large amounts of wine. Maybe I should start going back, I could tell him about Victoria...and how she kind of gives me hope for a possibly better future, but I don't want to depend on it, and that's why I'll have a back up plan. "Knock, knock...you have any plans for tonight?" she asked me bashfully.

I smiled at her bashfulness. "N- No." I stuttered. She shined as if she were trying to portray the stars that were beginning to shine tonight. She wore a gold sparkling dress. "Uh, okay, I was wondering if you weren't busy would you like to come with me to my church...and after that we could go to dinner if you're interested." she innocently suggested. I smiled. Really? I thought she was interested in 'me', but she was just interested in getting my soul saved, but then again...dinner does sound tempting. "I'll think about it." I said politely. She seemed a little hurt and disappointed, but almost hid it perfectly with her wall of shining whites. "Alright, well it starts at 8:35 and usually ends around 9:30." she informed me. I smiled as she left out. I felt something urge me to go...some part of me that was curious about this invitation, but I ignored it. After I buffed her floors like three times, I checked out.