Guess what, princess?
You don't get to be selfish
Your heart wasn't the only one on the line
Your feelings aren't the only ones that matter
You tell me that you hope your happiness doesn't make me miserable and then you go and snap my heart over and over and over until all that's left is dust
I should have listened when you said you were a disaster
I should have taken heed of your warnings
I should have believed you when you told you ruin every relationship you have
Am I supposed to take pity on you?
I get evicted from your heart and I'm supposed to tell you "I hope everything gets better!"?
You were my universe, intertwined with my dreams, the girl who told me she can't tell where she ends and I begin
And now you want us to be casual acquaintances
Sure, of course, sorry let me just bust out the vacuum and suck all my feelings back in, sorry for getting them all over you, my bad
Sorry I ever let you hold my hand
Sorry I ever let you make me smile
Sorry I ever gave you anything I should have locked tight and held to my breast
I let you carry my heart in your palm because you led me to assume you would give your life to keep it from getting hurt
Three days ago you looked me right in the eyes and dropped it, raised your foot, then stomped it into the ground until I was dizzy with despair
I can feel it physically
This sickness in my stomach
My intestines have tied themselves into Chinese knots
You pulled at my heartstrings harder and harder and watched as they snapped and unraveled in your hands
Like an hourglass my life is upended and flowing out of control
Slipping water like through my fingers
I deny it, then bargain, then deny, then get angry and angry, and then I get depressed, and then I'm almost about to accept it when I begin to bargain and then get angry and then bargain and deny and get depressed, bargain, angry, depressed, deny, angry, deny, deny, bargain, angry, depressed!
I will not worship you anymore
I cannot see you smile, I cannot hear your voice, I cannot look in your eyes and know they're not allowed to mean anything to me anymore, when last week they were my prized possessions
I am meant to throw my diamonds in the bonfire so it can ignite your spirit?
But mine is nowhere to be found
They say when a heart breaks it does not break evenly
Thank you for the chip off of yours
I hope you have room for all of mine on your wall
YOU ARE READING
Poetic Musing
PoetryPoems from when inspiration hits me. This is basically how I deal with my feelings, which I seem to have too many of. Updates will most definitely be random Check out my tumblr @musesofashley for more
