My Remedy || YuTae fanfic ||

Ichi 一

"Today's the 5th of January,year 2019. Its currently 12:24 in the morning and i'm alone in the third practice room at SM Entertainment. World, i fucked up big time. Earlier today, at practice, i was being a bit too harsh on the boys and i regret it completely. I was a bit bothered with some of the responsibilities i had and vented out my frustration to the guys. We continued the rest of the practice session with a dark atmosphere and it wasn't pleasant. Guys, i'm sorry. I got out of hand. Please forgive me."

This is me, Lee Taeyong. 24 years old and the leader of NCT. Every single day, i never fail to record a voice diary on my phone. It helps me reflect and let go of my bottled up feelings whenever i can't rely on someone for a listening ear. And that happens to be everytime.

It's in the middle of the night and i'm lying down on the cold hard floor of the practice room here in SM. I was given the opportunity to debut in a boy group that covers all grounds in the music industry. I would like to say that our music style is unique and distinct compared to the other existing groups.

We often have practice here in this room and today was one of the days. We are preparing a big scale comeback that involves all 18 members and i'll tell you, its not easy. Having to point out and improve each member's weaknesses takes a lot of time and effort. Besides, there are some of the members whom i'm not yet close to. Today was one of our first few practice sessions and i managed to fuck up. Come on Lee Taeyong, you should be trying to earn their trust and not be losing them right away.

I looked at the time of my wrist watch and was shocked to see that it was past 1. I hazily but quickly grab my belongings and headed out the room to make my way home. I was used to walking alone in the streets in the middle of the night like this. I often do so to find inspiration to make music or just to clear my head.

I'm not worried of being a victim of criminal acts because i have no reason to be a target. Why would they want to kidnap a scrawny kid like me? I'm all bones and it's not like i'm rich either. They will regret taking me since i can't provide any pleasure. I'm just living simply to exist.

Walking on the stone pavement, a familiar building soon comes in sight. This four storey building is actually a single apartment. The company bought this apartment for us to accommodate 18 boys. They didn't want to give us separate dorms in fear of "broken relationships". Thus, they believe that living under one roof will strengthen our bond and teamwork which will benefit us during the group promotions.

I don't mind living with them, but being together under a roof means 18 boys with 18 different personalities. Objectively speaking, i'm a very tidy and clean person. I absolutely despise mess and it stresses me out. Whenever that happens, i will go on a cleaning spree. That's why right now, i currently am not sharing my room with anyone. Reason being, they don't want to be in a room with a clean freak and possibly someone who keeps nagging like a mother. In conclusion, i'm always alone and the 'unwanted buddy'.

An uncomfortable silence filled the house as i enter. The lights were still on meaning that the boys were not asleep yet. I entered the living room premises and sees no one but dirty dishes on the coffee table. Seriously those guys... I peeked in the kitchen and saw not a single living creature too.

Thank god for having my room on the last floor, i get to check on the boys on my way up. On the first floor there's Kun's, Taeil's , Jisung's and Chenle's room. I twisted the door knob of the two young boys' room and let myself in. The boys was under their covers sleeping peacefully, Jisung with his teddy bears by his side and Chenle with airpods in his ears. I quietly took it off him so that he could sleep more comfortably. Seeing that they were still in their practice clothes, i guessed that they knocked out immediately after reaching home. I didn't bother checking on the other two members since i knew they are early sleepers.

Slowly, i head up the stairs to check on the other boys. First room closest to the stairs was Mark's and Lucas's. I peeked through the small door opening and saw two sleeping bodies on the beds. They're not the culprit. I closed the door gently and move towards the other room which was Renjun's and Jaemin's. Again, i peeked in only half of my body and saw them cuddling with each other on Renjun's bed. I chuckled at the cute scene. Not them. Lastly, Haechan's and Ten's room. As i head towards their room, i realised their lights were still on. I turned the door knob and let myself in their room. To my surprise, both of them were sleeping soundly and had no intention of waking up. I tiptoed and switched off the lights that was still on. Struggling to find his covers, Haechan was wriggling in his sleep. I swiftly picked up his covers that was on the floor and put it over him.

Next, the third level. I only had to enter Win Win's and Jaehyun's room since Doyoung is in the other room and knowing him, he would not let his roommates sleep in late. I was about to enter the former's room when i heard chattering at the top of the stairs. I was confident that the boys on this level was all asleep so i left them and went to the last floor which houses the 95 liners' rooms; mine, Johnny's and Yuta's.

I unconsciously went to the room across of mine and gently knocked on the door. A few seconds after, the door swinged open to reveal a bare-faced Johnny, standing in front of the entrance. Yuta was on his bed using his phone.

"Oh Taeyong, welcome back. What do you need?" The tall man asked the leader.

"Yes thank you. Johnny, did you guys have supper earlier?"

"We did. Why..did you not eat?"

"Oh no i didn't because i wasn't hungry. Perhaps, you had tteokbokki?"

"Yup! It was delicious after a tough practice. Wait..how did you know?"

"Dirty dishes on the coffee table. And you left the light on."

"Oh did i? My bad..i'll do it tomorrow morning then."

"Johnny..you know the rule. You should know better."

"I know Taeyong geez. Calm down will ya? I said i'll clean up tomorrow morning, what's the big deal? Besides, i think you should worry more about your act earlier. The boys were pretty hurt by your words you know. Some of the boys don't have the skills like you do so you need to understand where they're coming from. And you're the leader. You have to be someone they can look up to, not someone they feel small to. Look Taeyong, it's already pretty late and i think you should rest. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Go to sleep, goodnight Taeyong." Johnny closed the door on my face and i walked back to my own room, speechless.

"...hurt by your words.....someone they feel small to..." Those words kept ringing in my head all night long as i was about to sleep. I let down my members by not controlling my anger and now they're affected by it. I can't help but feel guilty and disgusted by my own insensitive selfish self.

//hello everyoneeee,,,, i decided to write a new book which is a bit darker than my other book and it happens to be a YUTAE fanfic. i've been craving for yutae contents lately so i decided to write my own. soo hope you will like ittt !!
please leave comments , i would love to read them thank youuu❤️❤️❤️