Letters

I would just like to say that this is a fictional letter before you start reading.

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My dearest friend,

I have lost count of how many times I have written to you, and yet you have never known it. I sit, writing about my hopes, my dreams, and my fears all to you. But you do not know them. I have long held these unsent letters in my hands thinking of sending them to you, but I never do. I lack the courage to do something as simple as that. I see your smiling face every day shining bright like the sun above. It brings light into my dark and bleak world. 

I have been with you since childhood; I have watched you grow up. It gives me great pleasure to see you succeed and get right back up again if you fail. You never let anything keep you tied down to the ground, there is nothing that will stop your determination. You are strong and stubborn, but you are also warm and kind hearted. Your caring and loving attitude radiates to every person around you, they would be blind to not see it.

I watched as you turned your affections to another, and as painful as it was, I did not interefere. It was your happiness that mattered and not me. Who was I to come between you and your love? I was only your best friend, nothing more. I was sad that I was no longer going to be the first person in your life, but oddly enough, you never treated me as if I was second in line. If I asked you to come, you would come running even if you had plans with your special someone. 

When I thought about quitting, it was you that gave me the strength to move on. It was you who gave me the will to continue to live right and not give up. Had I never met you, I would be alone and lost wandering the world, so when you began to grow weak, I stood by you. As your body was attacked by the disease that was eating away at your very life, I stayed right with you, never once leaving. 

Then you began to heal, remember how happy we were at the news? There could not have been a better day then that as the doctors told us you were healing. A few weeks later you told me you were engaged and I congratulated you, estatic that you were going to marry the one you loved. As I watched your face light up and your voice rise with excitement, I felt the unfamiliar pull of my heart strings. I ignored the aching heart, wondering why such a feeling was lying within me. It was a week before your wedding when it happened. 

I was walking beside you helping you plan out the final details of your wedding when you collapsed. I rushed you to the hospital; it was there that they broke the bad news. You had regressed back into your sickly state. It assualted you once more, more aggressively then before. Your body grew weaker and weaker. You, who were once so strong, had become so frail. 

It was I who was by your side when you breathed your last; I still remember your final words. You asked me to tell your dearly beloved how sorry you were for leaving. Your lips brushed against my cheek and then you were gone. It was only then that I realized I had known all along.

It was you who taught me how to laugh. It was you who taught me how to cry. It was you who taught me to have strength in the most desolate of times. And it was you who taught me how to love. Tears have stained this paper whilst writing to you, for now, I will never get to send my unsent letters. I wonder if somehow that there is a post office in heaven? Because there is no other place that you would be. 

I have said all that I have needed to say, and now, finally you know the truth. I love you, my dear friend. I have always loved you. These are my last words to you. Rest well my friend, until the day that we might meet again.