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When I wake up, the first thing I feel is emptiness -- empty in mind, empty in soul

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When I wake up, the first thing I feel is emptiness -- empty in mind, empty in soul.

After getting to bed with my heart sinking to my gut, I know it isn't gonna be easy today. Younghoon's confession wasn't something I took too easily last night. Perhaps he noticed from the way I reacted. My eyes had not been cooperating with my acting, they really had to cry before I even get back home.

I know I have told myself a couple of times to be cautious; to be vigilant. The feelings keep rolling back in and I cannot really blame him though. Younghoon has always been the type of friend who'll make you feel like he likes you. Or maybe it's all in the head and I'm just assuming things.

His gestures and his sweetness are almost too real for me to not fall for him, over and over again. Why do I keep on failing on avoiding him. Is it me or is fate really trying to push me to my limits. I may have to skip work for the next weeks and drown myself with school work. At least I'll be drawn into something else instead of just crying myself all day like a girl in chick flicks.

It's an advantage of not seeing his face for the next hours. Besides, finals is coming and I need to raise up my grades before graduation.

I've been thinking hard about where to go after college. Mom has always been a consideration and I just can't leave her behind. But maybe if I move, I can clear my thoughts and leave behind my feelings for Younghoon as well. Kevin and Hyunjae's here to keep mom accompanied anyway.

I snatch my phone from my bedside table and call Mr. Kim for my leave.

“Hello, Mr. Kim?” I say in my clearest, loudest voice. He can be deaf sometimes. “This is Chanhee, sir.”

It takes a few seconds before he can respond.

“I know Chanhee, you're registered in my phonebook.” He leaves a sigh. “What are you calling for?”

I play with my fingers as I try to construct a reason in my head.

“Well, after last night. I thought of taking a leave for the next two weeks.”

“And why is that, Chanhee? You know the restaurant needs you. I can't just let you leave without any reason.” Mr. Kim replies.

“It's finals weeks next week and I really need this time to focus on my studies. I swear I'll be back in no time. Besides, Younghoon can cover up for me while I'm gone. You should really depend on him, too. He's hardworking.”

“That's it? Or is there something else.”

I scratch my head. Has Mr. Kim really noticed? “That's all sir. Why do you ask?”

“I have been watching you, Chanhee. I feel like there's something running in your mind. Would I be too intruding if I ask you what it is?”

“Not at all sir, uhmm--”

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