pirate king (pirate!au) ➵ ateez ✔️

nature

So, even though every part of you is screaming at you not to do it, you squeeze Yunho's hand back.

"Yeah, I did, hyung." The words leaving your mouth feel so filthy, you're assuming the identity of that terrible, twisted man who had laughed as his brother crumpled to his knees in front of him. You're lying to Yunho, you know, but what else can you do? "I did come back."

"Ahh... I so happy to see you alive... that you escaped that hellhole."Yunho raises a weak hand to stroke your face, the action so painfully gentle that it brings tears to your eyes. "I missed you so much, Gunho. I thought that you... that you were dead."

Your breath catches in your throat and you desperately wipe the wetness rolling down your cheeks as you search for something else to say. Yunho, in his poisoned haze, must obviously not remember what had led him to be in this state in the first place. "But I'm not. I'm here with you now, hyung."

"Are you here to kill me?" Yunho murmurs with that same, heart wrenching smile and for a moment you're so stunned that you can find no words, merely staring at him like you've been struck on the head with a hammer. "I wouldn't blame you if you were here to finish the job... I just hope you do it quickly."

Your mind is completely scrambled as you try to make sense of Yunho's words. Yunho thinks that Gunho is here, in the infirmary with him, waiting to kill him, but he's merely accepting death with open arms just like this?

There's something growing inside your chest, a numb fire that you don't know whether is fury or horror. You want to scream at your crew mate, slap him, throw him overboard and demand right this second that he fight with every bit of his effort for his damn precious life. But the words are lodged deep in your throat and all you manage is a soft 'oh', a simple wisp of air that escapes your mouth as a deliberately vague question.

"I don't deserve to live after I broke that promise to you, Gunho... I promised that I'd save you from that place... and I failed to do it... I failed you." Yunho's voice cracks a little as the hand holding yours squeezes a little tighter, the raw, vulnerable emotion in his voice yanking at your heartstrings. You try and fail to hold back more tears, but Yunho doesn't notice, staring intently with such a warm, pained gaze at the empty space above your shoulder that you can't help but want to tell him that his brother isn't really here, that it's just you and that he deserves the whole world, much less his life. "I was too late... When I returned to the arena... they told me you were dead, you know? Dead and gone from the fever."

Agony rips you apart from the inside. You don't want to listen to another word of this story, how Yunho had believed this painful lie his whole life only to get stabbed in the back by it. But you can only sit there, with tears silently streaming down your face as you grip his hand tight.

You're utterly helpless in this situation.

"I wanted to die so badly... but Captain... Captain told me that my life belonged to him." Yunho's smile is so agonizingly joyous now, his eyes clouded over with hazy, hallucinated memories of long ago. "He said that as his crew, I was his to take care of, and that I needed to live for him."

You can't tear your eyes away.

"He saved me. I found another family on board the Treasure, even after you left, Gunho. I wish it could have been you in my place." Yunho whispers softly and you watch as a single tear falls down his cheek, heart throbbing with pain in your chest. "So please... if you want revenge, just take it out on me. Don't hurt them, please..."

A sob wrenches it way from your throat as you try to stifle your weeping.

"But I can't do it... I just can't say it..."