Letters To My Beloved

Hewwo

Do you ever feel like you're bursting with so much emotion, so many feelings for someone that you feel absolutely overwhelmed? Do you ever feel like spilling out all those emotions, an urge so incredibly strong, to just let out everything you've been bottling up inside off you, to let go of everything that's been holding you back? But you can't? You can't do that because you nobody is going to understand what you're really going through? Nobody is there for you to share those feelings with? And you can't even think about sharing them with the people around you because as much as they care for you, those people are just gonna make fun of you ? Ridicule you for expressing your love and laugh it off as a joke? Not even take it seriously?

Well believe me when I say, ever since I've had the honour of becoming an army, and stanning BTS, I've been going through ALL of the above. My heart has been in a constant emotional turmoil, ready to burst open at the seams from all the love I've been feeling for my babies(platonic, mind you). I've tried to let all of it out, believe me, but the people around me, my friends and family, have never really paid any attention to how much I love Bangtan, how much I respect them and look up to them. How precious they are to me. All I've gotten out of telling them about BTS, is weird looks, comments about being crazy and hyper and sprouting non-sense, and fucking stupid jokes about Bangtan's looks or masculinity!.

I mean yes, a few of my friends (two of them) have actually listened to me rant about BTS to them and have had the sense to listen to a few songs I recommended without prejudice, (and like them too) but the rest of them have either laughed at me for stanning them or have been irritated by my constant fangirling over them. *huffs angrily*

Then there's my family. Oh dear! That's a different case entirely!

You see, my family, as supporting and loving as they are, has never really been enthusiastic about acknowledging my love for certain things like cartoon movies, super heroes, all things Disney and well music too of course. They've always thought that this is just a childlike phase that will pass away as I grow up. *sigh*. Honestly, my family is naïve and kinda like newborns when it comes to music. No one in my family listens to music, NO ONE AT ALL. So just imagine how hard it would be for me to try to keep all of my ranting to myself. My dad dislikes music, my mom too; my aunts and uncles have no fucking idea about mainstream music/artists, let alone kpop. I'm the eldest in my family, so except for one, all of my cousins are four or younger. One of my brothers, the eldest after me (we're a year apart), is prejudiced against Bangtan solely because I love them so much. He says that I'm crazy and, and I quote, "stan guys who wear makeup and are way too feminine to be males". He says they're too gay for him. I mean, SERIOUSLY! JUST FUCK OFF PLEASE!

Two out of my three younger brothers and that one cousin are possibly the only sensible people in my family. At least that's what I think, cuz they are the only ones who actually know BTS, and whom I have practically forced to listen to them, and they've actually really liked their music.

My cousin specially, he's the one I'm closest to even though we're five years apart, and he has been in love with BTS. He even calls himself an ARMY! He may be a naïve ARMY but he knows and recognizes all the members by their voices, and he's RM biased for fucks sake! I have honestly never been happier and prouder of being related to him, in my life. Not only cuz he loves ma babies too but also because he knows how to appreciate Namjoon's talent and his visuals.

He knows! He fucking knows how attractive Namjoon is! Also, his bias wrecker might as well be Jin! He fucking LOVES Jin's voice, and is obsessed with Epiphany. He probably appreciates Seokjin's talent more than most of us. *sigh*.

I mean if a kid can see that, why can't grown up adults realize it too?!! Fucking hypocrites!

I RAISED HIM SO WELL TTwTT A BITCH IS SO FUCKING PROUD.

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